ALAN AND TARA'S DAY IN THE CITY

Chapter Seven

After leaving McDonalds, Alan drove up the road a bit and parked by the curb so they could eat.

"Mmm, gooey, greasy goodness," Alan said before tucking into his Big Mac.

Tara ate a French fry while she looked around her. All around them on either side of the street were shops.

"You wanna walk after we eat and see what's out here?"

"We can if you want, My Bad Influence," he said as Tara giggled.

"I didn't tell you to call that woman a Ho Bag."

"Nah, you didn't. That was me being rude and not ginger and havin a giggle," he said. "I'm sure she's had much worse working at that place. She'll get over it if she heard me."

He grinned and tried to take one of Tara's fries. He pouted when she jerked the box away from him.

"Hey, you got your own!" she said.

"Yes, but I'm your uncle and I just amused you, so I demand payment for my services."

Tara looked down at her Big Mac and giggled as she picked a sesame seed off the top bun and gave it to him.

"There, enjoy!" she said.

She laughed harder when Alan eyed her. Suddenly, without warning, his hand shot out and snatched her fries away.

"Hey!" Tara said, trying to get them back.

"Being cheeky is punishable by the loss of all your chips!" he said, holding them away from her.

His eyes widened and he began to breathe heavily when Tara slapped his cheek. Tara laughed when Alan let out an enraged "MOOOOOOOO!" and grabbed her hair.

"Ow!" Tara said when he gave it two quick tugs.

"That'll learn ya not to mess with Oncoming Storm, The Next Generation!" he said, putting her fries back on her lap.

Tara laughed and seized his tousle. She tried to give it two quick tugs while Alan slapped furiously at her hand. He suddenly took his hand away and she gave him two hard tugs.

"There! That ll learn ya!"

"Tara, shhh!" Alan said.

"What is it?"

Alan put his fingers to his lips and pointed ahead of them. Tara looked where he was pointing and saw an argument between two crippled men next to a bus shelter several feet away. Around them were several people.

"Can't say for certain, but I think it started because the one bloke in the scooter tried to pass by the other bloke with his wheelchair and he couldn't get by," he said to Tara.

Tara's eyes widened when the one in the wheelchair decked the other man. They watched as both men, one a paraplegic and the other, a one legged man, got out of their wheelchair and scooter and tried to fight each other. Both Alan and Tara stared at them in disbelief as the two enraged men tried to punch each other while they kept falling over and hitting the ground.

"Cor blimey, how short a temper do you have when you're hopping around on one leg trying to punch a paraplegic?" Alan said.

"Their mouths dropped open when the one-legged man reached down to the ground and grabbed a knife. Everyone else began to yell at him, telling him to stop while the man tried to stab the paraplegic who was being held back by another taller man.

"This is the strangest fight I ve seen in my entire life," Alan said. "Stay here, Tara, I m gonna try to help them."

He started to get out of the car and stopped when he saw that the fight was getting under control. Both of them stared in shock as the one-legged man knocked over the other man's scooter and began to destroy it, bending his front wheel fender and cutting the power lines.

"These people are nuts," Tara said.

They watched as the man quickly got back into his wheelchair and hurried away while the others yelled for someone to call the police.

"Now I've seen everything," Alan said, shaking his head.

"He was gonna stab the guy, just because he couldn t get around him?" Tara said.

"Humans are a strange lot," he said, "and a lot of them have short tempers and violent natures and kill others over nothing. What shocked me was he was so adamant about killing the bloke that he risked injury himself by hopping around and the same goes with the paraplegic. I love humans but sometimes they can be so animalistic. But as for us getting out and exploring, I think It's safe now so let's finish eating and take a walk, eh?"

After eating, they got out of the car and locked it. By that time the disturbance up by the bus shelter was over and the few people who were left there were chatting to one another. Alan gestured towards the opposite direction and he and Tara walked away from them. They walked slowly looking at all the shops along the way. Then they came to an old Victoria house with a wrought iron fence around it. A sign near the gate's opening informed them that dinner was being served inside. They noticed a huge plaque affixed to the fence and went over to read it. The house was known as the Whitney House and was owned by a wealth and eccentric man who was at the time the wealthiest person in Detroit. They glanced up at the house and Alan looked at Tara.

"Wanna go in and see if we can tour the place?" he said.

"Okay."

They walked through the gate, up a short cement pathway, up three stairs, across the porch and into the house. The interior was dimly lit and off to their left they could see a large dining room with thirty tables, all of them set and ready for diners. The house had black and red carpeting and in front of them was a staircase that went up. To their right was another dining area. They went inside and noticed several marble sculptures of cherubs affixed to the walls and renaissance paintings scattered around the room.

"Nice. I like this place," Alan said as they walked out. "Always loved Victorian houses, I love their elegance."

They started to head up the stairs when they noticed an elevator in the wall beside it.

"Wait, the bloke had a lift or was this installed after this became a restaurant?" Alan said as they walked over to it.

He pushed a little black button and they stood and waited for it.

"Sir, the elevator is out of order," a woman said as she walked around a corner and saw them.

"Oh," Alan said. "Um...we just ate, we re only interested in seeing the house."

"That's fine, go right ahead," the woman said.

Alan nodded and watched as she went into the dining room.

"Thanks muchly, Ho Bag," he muttered under his breath.

Tara giggled as they sprinted up the stairs to the second floor.

"Is everyone a ho bag today?" she asked him.

"Yes, everyone except you and me are ho bags," Alan said.

"Even our family?"

"Oooohohoho, they're the biggest ho bags of all!"

"Om, I'm gonna tell them that you said that."

"Tell!" Alan said, spinning around as she giggled. "Tell the whole flippidy floppidy floo universe. I couldn't possibly give a fig what you say or do!"

Tara glanced down when the mobile rang in her pocket. She pulled it out and answered it.

"Hello?"

"Tell me the truth," the Doctor said, "how many arrest warrants are out for you two?"

"None, Daddy!" Tara said as she walked around the second floor with Alan.

"I said, the truth!" he said as she giggled.

"Okay, we got eighty warrants out for us," she said.

"I thought as much," the Doctor said. "For shame, my daughter, I thought you were better than that."

"I know, I'm sorry," Daddy.

He chuckled warmly.

"So, where are you at really?" he said.

"This Victorian house that's really neat. They have a lot of sculptures and paintings. It was built by some rich guy in the 1800's."

"Brilliant."

"We saw these two crippled guys try to kill each other," Tara said.

"What?" the Doctor said.

Tara told him what happened. The Doctor sighed and muttered "Humans!" under his breath when she finished. "I'm glad you lot are okay."

"We were in our car when we saw it. We were eating McDonalds," Tara said.

She grinned and came up to Alan's back.

"Oh! And Alan called you a Ho Bag," she said.

"Called me what?"

Alan turned after hearing him and took the phone from Tara who was giggling hysterically.

"Just having a bit of fun, Brother," he said to the Doctor. "I'm just teasing Tara and she's teasing me back. I told her that everyone except us was big, enormous ho bags."

The Doctor fell silent.

"Gee, not quite sure how to answer that one," he said, amused. "I've been called many things but never a ho bag."

"A what?" Rain said in the background.

"HO BAG, RAINY PAINY, JUST LIKE YOU ARE!"

"Okay, let me talk to the little asshole," he heard Rain say.

"Ought-oh, mate, you just pissed off the misses," the Doctor said.

"Listen here, Shrimpy Boy!" she said into the phone as everyone else laughed in the background. "I don't know what you're doing or where you're taking my daughter but if she comes back corrupted, I'm getting some needle and thread and sewing your asshole shut, got it?"

Alan chuckled when he heard the Doctor, Rose, Madison, Jack and Ianto all say, "Oooooo..." in the background.

"That's right, I said it!" Alan said defiantly. "What ya gonna do about it?"

There was no answer.

"Rain?" Alan said.

"Mommy's mad now?" Tara asked.

He shrugged. Suddenly there was a flash of light and all the adults appeared.

"You wanna know what i'm gonna do about it, Shrimpy Boy?" Rain said, walking over to him while everyone laughed. "I"m gonna clean your little clock, that's what I'm gonna do."

She chuckled and punched his shoulder affectionately before looking around.

"Where are you?" she said.

Alan briefly explained to everyone about the information they found on the plaque while they looked around.

"This is beautiful," Rain said, walking over to her husband and daughter when he finished. "I love the paintings and the carpeting."

"Yeah, there's several things here I wouldn't mind getting for the home," Jack said.

"Sod that, I'll take the home itself," Ianto replied.

Rose walked over to her husband and kissed his cheek.

"Having fun?" she asked.

"So far, we haven't done that much yet. Just saw that GM building, went out the airport, drove around, ate at McDonalds and walked down here. Oh, and saw the knife fight between the two crippled people."

Rose shook her head.

"We were listening to that over the phone. I'm so glad you're safe."

"Nah, nothing to worry about. We coulda held our own," he said to her.

He put his arm around and they followed everyone else around while they looked at the second floor.

"This is gorgeous," Rose said, looking at the antiques.

"Not as gorgeous as you, Starlight."

"Well, well, here goes Mister Smoothy again," Rose said.

"Always," Alan replied.

He leaned in and kissed her passionately. They glanced over when the Doctor, Rain and Tara ascended the stairs up to the third floor and they and Jack and Ianto followed them. On the third floor was more antiques plus a drawing room with a couch, fireplace and TV and a couple of bedrooms.

"Too bad we can't take this back with us," Rain said to her husband.

"Well, I could always go get the TARDIS and land right on top of it."

"Will it fit, Daddy?" Tara asked.

"Sure, the Concorde managed to fit into it once."

"What's that?" Tara asked.

She giggled when the Doctor gave her a long, hard stare.

"We need to talk about updating you on historical events and things, Daughter," he said to her.

After completing the tour, all of them stood outside the gate and looked around.

"So where was this knife fight?" Ianto asked.

Alan pointed at the bus shelter about fourty feet from them. There were still a few people inside it and on a stone wall beside it talking to one another but the man with the scooter was nowhere in sight. Jack raised his eyebrows when he saw the Camaro near it.

"Whoa, someone has a nice car," he said.

"That is our ride for the day."

Jack smiled at him.

"I love your taste in cars, my man," he said to him.

"So now what? Do we go back home?" Madison asked.

"Not yet, come and walk with us for awhile," Tara said.

"Yes, but Sweetie, this is your alone time with Alan," the Doctor said.

"You can come with us, especially since you keep coming down here anyway," Alan replied.

They looked at each other.

"Might as well, we're through eatin'," Rose said. "Might as well walk off what we ate."

The Doctor looked at Tara and Alan.

"And yes, we got you your food so don't worry," he said to them. "It's back home in the fridge waiting for your stomachs."

"Can I ask you something though?" Tara said to the Doctor.

"Sure, what d'ya wanna ask me?"

"Well, it's okay for us to be goofy right? Cause we were being silly and I liked when Alan was being really silly and making me laugh. That won't bother you, will it?"

The Doctor shrugged.

"As long as he doesn't get us arrested, he can be as big a clown as he wants to be," he said.

"Have at it!" he said while everyone else nodded.

"Will you be silly too?" Tara asked. "I told him you're very silly when we're alone."

The Doctor looked at Alan.

"Come on, Brother, loosen up and be a clown with me. I need help sometimes," he said. "No one here's gonna judge you."

"Yeah, I wanna see you really act like Alan for a change," Jack said.

"Same here," Madison added. "Show us what you got. Your brother can't be the only clown jester in the family."

The Doctor grinned and let out a mock sigh.

"Oh, if I must," he said.

Tara cheered and he gave her a kiss. Alan put his hand on his shoulder.

"Then perhaps a challenge is in order, Brother. Let's see who's the most daft by the time we leave Detroit."

The Doctor nodded.

"Very well, I accept," he said.

Rose looked at Madison and Rain.

"Oh boy, look out Detroit, you won't know what hit ya by the end of the day," she said to them.

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