LIFE WITH THE FAMILY
Chapter Five "This is quite a brilliant little idea you guys had," the Doctor said to Rain and Awinita while they stood with the others in the Avis rental place. They had just got back from exploring a planet and breaking up an interplanetary slave ring and needed a rest. Rain suggested a movie night and Awinita mentioned going to drive in movies as a kid. This led to them suggesting that they go to an all night dusk to dawn at a drive in movie theater. They knew they had any time period in which to go so they talked amongst themselves trying to figure out what they wanted to see. They finally settled on Independence Day as one of the movies. "Okay, that's 1996 then," the Doctor said to them. "I'll have the TARDIS do a search for drive-in movies doing dusk to dawn movies featuring Independence Day and take us there." "Wait, we need to rent cars or something," Awinita said. "Yeah, I think it'll look a bit strange if we park the TARDIS right in the middle of all the other cars," Donna added. "And…how about getting Jack and the others?" Rain said. "I'm sure Torchwood could use a break." "Yeah and Sarah Jane and the kids as well," Rose said. "I'm betting they'd like to see it too." "Okay, I'll make a few calls and then we'll find a drive in movie and rent some cars," the Doctor said. After paying for three large minivans for one night, they walked out to the parking lot and got inside them. The Doctor and his family were in one, Jack and Torchwood were in the other and Sarah Jane and the kids were in the third. All of them had brought blankets from the TARDIS, a large bag of popcorn and a cooler filled with sodas. They had landed in Indiana and they had asked the guy who ran the Avis counter where the drive in theater was since they figured it was nearby. They were pleased to learn it was only ten miles up the road, an old drive in theater called Sky-vu. On the way there, they passed a White Castle restaurant and they decided to get several sacks of burgers, cheeseburgers and fries. After they got done, Awinita drove the minivan and everyone else followed her. The TARDIS supplied them with some money that was pre-1996 so they wouldn't be accused of counterfeiting and Awinita, Jack and Sarah Jane paid the admission with it. After they were done, they went into the lot that was already half filled with cars and found three spots near a large cinderblock building that had snacks and restrooms in them. They turned the cars around so the back was facing the screen and piled out. It was early August and the air was warm. They lifted the hoods and folded the seats down under the floor making a huge space behind the front seats. They spread the blankets out until they covered the floor and distributed the food to everyone. They grabbed a large metal speaker that was hanging on a pole beside the cars and put them just inside the openings. Then they all got in and sat down to eat their food and talk while they waited for the sun to set. There were four movies that were going to be shown. Independence Day, Twister, the Hunchback of Notre Dame and the Island of Doctor Moreau. Each car was also given a raffle ticket and the winner would win 25 dollars worth of food. The winning number was supposed to be announced after the first movie. While they ate, they heard laughter coming from the minivan Torchwood was in and saw Martha run in front of theirs. "Don't you dare, Jack Harkness!" she yelled at him while he laughed. She climbed into their van and knelt beside Donna while Jack casually strolled up to their car with an evil grin on his face and his hands behind his back. "Evening, Doctor, Alan, ladies," he said, nodding. His eyes settled on Martha and his grin widened. "Don't you dare or I'm settin' the Doctor after ya!" she said to him. The Doctor who was sitting at the back with Rain, Rose and Alan finished eating a French fry. "What is he doing that I would have to be set after him?" he asked. He's got a can of pop and he shook it up and he's threatening to open it in my face," she said. Jack grinned and brought his arm around and showed her the can of Coke. He stared at her while he slowly shook it. "Jack, if you're gonna douse Martha, do it away from here because I'm not payin' Avis to have these people carriers cleaned," Rose said. Jack glanced at her and at Martha who was giving him a smug look. "Fine, but be warned, Jones, I will be watching and waiting and it's a long summer night," he said, pointing his finger at her. "Well, I'll stay right here then," she said. "You'll be back. You can't resist me. No one can," he said. The Doctor glanced at Alan and they rolled their eyes while he walked away. Martha looked back at the Doctor. "Was he like that when he traveled full time with you?" she asked. "Yes, unfortunately," he said while Alan and Rose laughed. Rani stuck her head around the corner and looked in at them. "Oh no, Jack's not bothering you as well," the Doctor said. "No, he's not, I just wanted to say thanks for doing this for us," she said. "You're welcome. It was Rain and Awinita's idea. They're the two Americans who used to do this when they were kids," he said to her. "This is so cool. I love being in the people carrier instead of a theater, it's more fun that way. And an all night movie marathon will be so fun." "Have you seen all the movies before?" Mingxia asked. "I've seen them all except the last one. Never heard of the Island one." "It's originally a story by HG Wells," Alan said. "'Bout an insane scientist who makes animals into humans or human-like anyway." "Have you seen it?" she asked them. They shook their heads. "I hope it's good," Rani said. "I hope they're all good. I've never seen any of them," Jenny said. "Independence Day is really good and so is Twister. Um…Hunchback of Notre Dame is a Disney cartoon. Do you like cartoons?" Rani asked. "Dunno, I've never watched any," Jenny said, shrugging. "You're in for a treat, Jen," Alan said. "Except I haven't seen Hunchback of Notre Dame the cartoon, but Disney makes high-quality animated movies. I think you'll like it." Jenny looked behind at him. "I hope so," she said. Gwen suddenly appeared behind Rani with an exasperated look on her face. "Doctor, can I sit with you lot tonight?" she said. The Doctor looked at her with wide eyes. "Um, if you can find a spot, we're kinda crowded in here. Why? What's wrong?" "The men, if you can call them that, are making total arses of themselves. So I decided to take a leaf out of Martha's book and come over here." The Doctor glanced out the side window and saw the three men roughhousing in the back of their van. Oi! He thought to Jack. Calm down, Harkness; we're getting refugees over here. He saw him stop what he was doing and calm the others down. Thank you, the Doctor thought to him. I think he's stopped…at least for now," he said to Gwen. "Thank you, although I think he's hoping Martha will still go back over so he can pour pop on her." Martha snorted. "Not a chance, I'm fine right here," she said. Mingxia sat her Coke down beside her. "I'll be right back, guys. I'm gonna go use the restroom," she said. Rani and Gwen stepped back when she swung her legs out and walked to the building. "I better go too," Rain said. She got up on her knees and crawled to the front. She got out and ran to the building. "Throw me another cheeseburger, Brother," the Doctor said. Alan reached into the White Castle sack and threw him a little white and yellow box containing the burger. He caught it and thanked him while he pulled it out. While they ate, music was coming out of the speaker. Suddenly, they heard Macarena start playing. The Doctor paused with his teeth embedded in his burger while everyone in all three cars laughed hysterically. Rose, Awinita, Martha and Donna laughed and began to do the hand motions while the Doctor rolled his eyes. Suddenly, Jack ran in front of their car and began to do the dance while everyone laughed. "Sit down, Harkness," Alan said. "We don't need to see you doing it!" Jack turned and laughed when Clyde ran up and started doing it with him. The Doctor looked past him and noticed people in other cars were laughing and pointing at them. "Why do I suddenly feel like it was a bad idea to bring extra people?" the Doctor said while Rose patted him on the shoulder. "Dad, what are they doing?" Jenny asked him. "They're doing an idiotic dance called the Macarena that goes with this song. It was popular for about two seconds in 1996," the Doctor said. "Come on, Jen, I'll teach ya!" Jack said, walking to her. "Don't you dare, Harkness, I want my daughter to grow up Macarena free," he said. By now Sarah Jane and Luke had wandered over to the side of their car and were watching them while they continued to dance. The Doctor glanced through the window and saw Ianto and Mickey were sitting in the car with mortified looks on their faces. Mercifully, the song finished and Jack and Clyde walked back to their vans while everyone around them whooped and hollered and clapped. Sarah Jane giggled and looked in at the Doctor who was red faced. "I take it Jack and Clyde aren't going to be traveling with you any longer?" she asked. "I'm giving it serious consideration right now," he replied. Alan glanced out the window at them and saw Ianto shaking his head slowly while Jack laughed and patted him on the back. "I think Ianto will have a nice long chat with him when they get back," Alan said to them. Because You Loved Me by Celine Dion came on the radio. "And now we get a bit of Celine," Alan said. "Well, take comfort in the fact it's still a year away until My Heart Will Go On," the Doctor said to him. Rain and Mingxia came back to the van. "You missed the impromptu Macarena dance in front of the people carrier," Alan said. "No, I didn't, I watched it from the door," Mingxia said while Rain climbed in. The Doctor noticed Rain had an enormous dill pickle in her hand. "Where in the world did you find that?" he said, pointing to it while she sat down beside him. "They were selling it at the concession stand," she said. "They have enormous gherkins?" "Yeah, I felt like one." "How much did it cost?" "1.99." "You paid 1.99 for a gherkin?" "Yeah, I was in the mood for it." She giggled when he gave her an exasperated look. "You coulda asked the TARDIS to give you one for free." "I wasn't in the mood then." They laughed when he threw up his hands. "What else do they have just in case we win this big food bonanza? " Alan asked. "Mmm, popcorn, pizza, hamburgers, chicken sandwiches, nachos, candy, sodas, tenderloins, fish sandwiches and great big pickles." "And if you do win the raffle, Brother, I'm sure the majority of that will go towards buying her more gherkins," the Doctor said. She grinned and offered him the pickle. He smiled and took a bite of it. The Doctor and the others watched Independence Day. After the movie started, everyone went back to their vans except for Martha who was sitting beside Donna with her legs hanging out the back. They watched while the spaceship destroyed New York. "See, this never would have happened if you'd been there, dear," Rain said. They laughed. "Yeah, where's the Doctor when you need him?" Martha said. "Must be my alternate universe again," Donna said. "The Doctor's dead and this is what happens to New York!" Jenny looked at the Doctor. "How many times have you prevented something like this from happening, Dad?" "Oooooh, about 2 trillion times," he said while they laughed. Rain and Rose snuggled against their husbands while they draped their arms around them. "Now aren't you glad you're not there and taking care of everyone's injuries?" Awinita said to Martha. "Oh Jesus, I think I'd run screaming if I had that many people to take care of at once," she said while they laughed. "I don't think I'd even know where to begin." "If there was even a hospital left after they got through," Alan said. They looked at him when Jack leaned his head around the opening. "You know, considering the kind of work we do, this is hitting a tad too close to home," he said. They laughed when he walked back to the other car. The Doctor rolled his eyes. "And of course we come to the obligatory dissect the alien scene," he said. "Have you ever seen aliens like that, Dad?" "Uuuum, kinda, sorta… Not exactly like that, but pretty…" He was cut off when the exoskeleton snapped open suddenly and Jenny let out a startled scream. They laughed when she turned beet red and put her head in her hands. "I'm sorry," Jenny said while they giggled. "Don't feel bad, honey, I did the same thing the first time I saw this," Rain said. Sarah Jane walked over and leaned her head around the corner of the van. "Who did that?" She noticed Jenny's red face and chuckled. "Don't feel bad, Jenny, Rani screamed too," she said, patting her on the back. She walked back to her van while Alan patted Jenny on the shoulder. "That was really good," Jenny said when the movie ended. "I'm glad even if it did scare you at one point," the Doctor said. "Well…I didn't know they were gonna do that…" Jenny said. "I think that was the point, Jen," Alan said. "And I'll tell you guys something, if it had been us we wouldn't have to have flown a stolen spaceship up to the mothership to deliver that virus. We could have just stood in the console room and sent it from there." "Yup, every alien fighting force needs the TARDIS," the Doctor said. "Okay, we hope you enjoyed that," a male voice said through the speaker. "Now everyone get your ticket stubs ready because we're gonna draw three numbers for our 25 dollars in food." The Doctor pulled his flashlight out of his pocket and handed it to Alan while Jack and Sarah turned on the map lights in the other vans. "Okay the first number is…00031475." They looked at Alan who shook his head. "That's 00031475. Whoever has that number please come to the concession stand with your ticket to collect your prize. Okay, our next number is…00031987." "Nope," Alan said. "That's 00031987. And…the final number is…00031663." "That's me!" Alan yelled. "Are you serious?" Rose said. He showed her the ticket while the man repeated the number. "I won, Starlight!" he said happily. "Just what ya need, 25 dollars worth of food," Donna said. "Well, I was gonna buy for everyone but if you're gonna be sarcastic about it…" he said. Sarah Jane walked over to their car. "Did you guys win it? We didn't." "I did!" Alan said. "You did? You won? Congratulations!" "Yup! So do you guys want any food? Kids want anything?" "I don't, wait a tic." She walked back. Alan looked at the others. "Anyone? Anyone want anything? Te'lesu, barrel of gherkins?" "No, Bro, I'm past my pickle craving now." Sarah Jane came back followed by Jack. "They want something but they'll go inside with you to see. They have to use the loo anyway." "You won? You actually won," Jack said. "Yes, Harkness, I won. Now we're just trying to sort out what everyone wants before I go inside." "Do you guys know what they have?" Rain told him. "Tenderloin?" Jack said. "Tenderloins are good. Breaded pork that's fried to a crispy, golden brown," Alan said. "Nah, not too big on pork. I'm fine; we still have some of those White Castle burgers left over there anyway." He walked back to his van. After getting requests from the ones who were interested, Alan headed inside with Rose and the teens. The teens got a pizza and Alan got a tenderloin while Rose got Martha a fish sandwich and Jenny some nachos. They carried everything back out and passed it out. Alan let everyone in the car try a bit of the tenderloin and they sat and talked while they waited for the next movie to start. The next movie was Twister. Jenny was stunned while she watched the truck trying to outdrive the tornado. "Dad, why are they trying to follow one of those things?" she asked the Doctor. "Because they're nutters, Angel," he said while they laughed. "I've faced down Daleks and Cybermen and Sontarans and even I would never just stand there in front of a tornado and say "Oooo, ah! I must take a picture of it, isn't it pretty? I'm daft but not that daft." "Oh my God," Jenny said. "It's going through a drive in movie theater like this one." "Yeah, but I wouldn't worry, Jen. I don't think there's a chance of a tornado tonight," Alan said, glancing out the window at the starry sky. Jack came up beside the van and looked in at them. "Be freaky if that happened for real tonight," he said. "That's what Jenny was thinking," Awinita said. "Drat, Doc, shoulda picked a stormy night so we could recreate this little scene." "No thanks, I'm happy enough just watching the film without running for my life," he said to him. He leaned against the side of the car with his hands in his pockets while he watched it. "Not meaning to interrupt, but any of you seen this Hunchback of Notre Dame cartoon?" he said, looking in. "I have," Rain said. "Is it…any good?" "It's not the best Disney movie they ever made but it's alright," Rain said to him. "Because I've read the Hunchback of Notre Dame and it's hardly a children's book." "Yes and there a few things in it that I wouldn't let young children see," Rain replied. "You mean like the part where they tie Quasimodo down and whip him?" "No, they toned that down. They just throw food at him in the movie." Jack and Alan stared at her. "What else do they tone down?" Alan asked. Rain shrugged. "I haven't read the book. I'm pretty sure that talking, singing gargoyles aren't in the book though." Now all three men were staring at her. "Talking, singing…gargoyles?" the Doctor said slowly. "Yeah, they're um…Quasimodo's…sidekicks." "Oh Lord, this oughta be good," Alan muttered while the women giggled. The second movie ended and several people went off to use the restroom. "What'd ya think, Jen?" Alan said. "It was good but…that last tornado, they really do get that big?" "Yes, they do," Rain said. "I'm glad we live in the TARDIS then where there isn't a danger of getting rolled by one of those things." Jack walked back over with Ianto. "Does Quasimodo die at the end?" he asked Rain. "No," Rain said. "And I'm assuming Esmeralda doesn't either?" "No, it's a happy ending." The men all stared at her. "Describe happy ending, Te'lesu," Alan said. "Um…everyone lives except Frollo. Esmeralda and Phoebus end up together and Quasimodo is accepted by the townspeople." "WHAT?" the men said. "Wait, Quasimodo gets accepted by everyone?" Jack said. "Yes." "And what happens then?" Ianto asks. "Do birds fly around them and sing and animals dance or something?" "Um…no, that doesn't happen." "That's a shocker," Jack muttered to Ianto. Mickey came up beside them. "What's goin' on?" "Oh, we're just discussing the next movie and how Disney managed to mangle a classic tragic story, that's all, Mickey," Jack said. "I haven't seen it," Mickey said. "Yeah, I haven't either but now I'm filled with a morbid curiosity since Rain told us a few details," Jack said. "But you mentioned there were parts in it you wouldn't show young kids. What parts are you talking about?" "Well, there's one scene were Frollo is singing about lusting after Esmeralda and if she doesn't love him, he'll burn her alive." They stared at her with wide eyes. "In a Disney movie?" Mickey said. "Yeah." Jack looked at the Doctor. "Wow, singing gargoyles and songs about lust and burning people alive. Now I'm really curious!" he said. "Well, you know, Brother," Alan said. "After we're done here, I think we oughta buy a copy of the movie, go find Victor Hugo and show him what they'll eventually do with his masterpiece." They looked at the screen when the coming attractions started up. "I'll be back later with my thoughts on this particular movie," Jack said to them. The women were giggling. Throughout the movie they kept looking at the Doctor and Alan who had stunned expressions on their faces. "Quasi? He's got a cute little nickname now?" the Doctor said. "Oh God, you're right, Brother, let's go find Victor Hugo next." "I don't know what's worse, the cute little gargoyles or the cute little goat," Alan said. "And Quasimodo has a nice sounding voice, doncha think? You'd expect him to be a bit gruffer than that." "I expect him to be bloody deaf which is what he's supposed to be," the Doctor said while they laughed hysterically. "But then again if he were deaf he couldn't listen to his gargoyle mates singing about how wonderful he is. Not to mention Frollo is supposed to be an archbishop, not a judge. That's a big part of the story; he's supposed to be a man of the church and does all these evil, hypocritical things that goes against God. It isn't the same if he's just a judge." "This is Disney though. I'm sure they didn't want that much controversy," Alan said to him. "Good point." They watched in silence until they got to the Hellfire song. They watched while Frollo sang about lusting after Esmeralda. "Wow, this is intense," Alan said. "Brilliant song, but you're right Te'lesu; this would go waaay over little kids' heads." Jack walked over to them and looked in. "Damn, it's like we've suddenly switched to a different movie." "Tell me about it," the Doctor said. "Up till now the majority of it's been a bit cutesy and then we get this." "Well, they couldn't completely sanitize everything, I guess," Jack said. "I noticed they've changed a few things. Frollo's not an archbishop anymore." "No and "Quasi's" not deaf." "And," Jack said, "they also got rid of Esmeralda's mother too." "They always do that though," Rose said. "Disney characters never have mothers and if they do, they get killed like Bambi's mother." "Yeah, that's a good point," Jack said. "Makes you wonder if old Walt had mother issues. But, speaking of Walt, Mickey mouse over there got bored and went to sleep and so did Gwen. I think Sarah Jane did too because all I see is the teens sitting up." "I'm about spent too," Martha said. "I'm not really interested in this and the next one doesn't sound that good either. I think I'll go lie down. But it's been fun, you guys." "Good night, Martha," they said in unison. She said goodnight and walked to the other van. Jack walked over and told Ianto to move so she could have room. "Wait, I'm coming out so they can sleep," Ianto said. He crawled out and went to stand beside Jack while they watched the movie. "Well, that was the strangest interpretation of Hunchback of Notre Dame I've ever seen," Jack said when it finished. "Well, just wait because we have HG Wells next," the Doctor said. Rani walked up to them. "Sarah Jane's asleep and I guess they are as well," she said, gesturing to Jack's van. "Yes, some of us aren't Time Lords that can go for days on end without sleep," Jack said. "I'm thinking about it but I wanna stay up a little bit and see if this movie's any good," Rani said. "But I think Luke and Clyde are knackered and they're about to fall asleep too." "I'm not. I've had a lot of nights where I didn't sleep," Jack said. "Same here," Ianto added. "Although I'm going to do the same as you. I'm gonna watch a bit of it and if it doesn't hold my interest, I'm gonna go sleep with the others." "Well, if you guys need us to drive you, we can," Alan said. "We're all fully awake in here." "And you can sleep on the TARDIS before I take you back home, that's no problem," the Doctor said. "Well, it's been fun. I've had a blast," Rani said. The Doctor smiled. "I'm glad," he said. "I'm glad all of you came. It's a lot more fun this way." "It's funny too because all the coming attractions are for old movies," Rani said while they laughed. "Yeah, I've already seen almost all the movies that have yet to come out," Jack said, winking. He looked at Jenny. "What 'bout you? You like the Hunchback of Notre Dame?" "Yeah, it was pretty good. Bit odd but it was good." "Did you like the soldier guy?" Jack said, grinning. "I won't say because Dad might not like it," she said while they laughed. "Because I'm not supposed to like military things anymore." "I don't mind if you like military things I just don't want you being in the military," the Doctor said. "You couldn't help being programmed with that stuff so naturally you're gonna like that kind of thing. You really should read the novel though because the novel is much better than what you just saw." "I agree," Jack said. The coming attractions started again and Jack walked over to the spot Martha vacated and sat down while Ianto walked up beside him and leaned against the side. Ianto shook his head about thirty minutes into the movie. "Nah, this is boring. I'm gonna go to sleep, night all." They said goodnight and he walked back to their van. Jack leaned out and looked at Sarah Jane's van. He walked over when he didn't see anyone through the window and peeked inside. He walked back. "They're all asleep. It's just us now," he said, sitting back down. "I would say do we get a prize for staying awake this long but Alan already got one," Donna said. "And a very delicious prize it was," Alan said, rubbing his belly. They watched the movie. "Is it me or did Marlon Brando get puffier and pastier as the years went on?" the Doctor asked. "Oh my God…" The Doctor looked at Rain. "What, love?" he said. "Him and the midget…oh my God, that's where they got Doctor Mephesto and the ape guy from South Park!" Awinita's mouth dropped open. "You're right! It is…um Kevin, wasn't it? The ape guy?" she said to her. "Yeah, I think so," Rain replied. They started laughing. "And Mephesto was a geneticist too so it makes sense," Awinita added. "Yeah and I get the whole handkerchief over the head thing now," Rain added. She glanced at her husband. "Sorry, big South Park fan," she said to him while he chuckled. Jenny was confused. She shook her head. "This one is weird," she said. "Well, it was a weird novel," Alan said. "Curiosity time," Awinita said to the Doctor. "You ever…see anything like this? The whole changing animals into humans thing?" "Yes and I've seen humans changed into animals. In fact, in my sixth life, my companion Peri almost got changed into a bird before the process was stopped." Jenny looked at him. "Then this stuff they're talking about, that's all possible, Dad?" "With the right technology, yes. Theoretically, it's possible with us. During regeneration we have the option of being any species we want including those that resemble animals." "So, you could become a great big kitty cat in your next regeneration if you wanted to?" Jack said. He shrugged. "I could but I'm sure my wife wouldn't fancy that." "Yes, I'd be quite disturbed if you did that," Rain said while they laughed. They sighed when the movie ended. "Novel was better," Alan said. "The novel didn't have a big puffy, pasty Marlon Brando in it." "Okay, you lot," the Doctor said, slapping his hands together. "We here at the back are stiff, everyone out for a stretch before we go home." They all crawled out and groaned while they stretched their tired limbs. The Doctor looked at Jack while everyone cleaned the rubbish out of the back and threw it away. "You need us to drive your people carrier?" he asked. "Nah, I'm awake, I'll do it," Jack said. He nodded and helped them clean out the van while Jack did the same with his. Once they were done with their van, the Doctor and his family moved to Sarah Jane's and very quietly tried to clean it out. Sarah Jane stirred and looked at them. "Are the films over?" she said. The Doctor smiled and nodded. "Don't worry, Rose will drive you back, get a bit more rest," he said. Sarah Jane nodded and went back to sleep. After getting the vans cleaned out, the Doctor, Rose and Jack drove them back to the car rental place. They woke everyone up, grabbed the blankets, locked the cars and turned the keys back in. They walked several feet to the TARDIS that was parked right behind the building. The Doctor unlocked it and ushered them all in. Once they were inside, he took the TARDIS into the vortex and let everyone sleep for awhile before taking them all back home.
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