SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW
Chapter Sixty One Awinita knew as soon as she saw Rose that she had said yes. She had never seen her friend so happy. The two of them were holding one another’s hands and had smiles a mile wide on both their faces. Awinita hurried over to Rose and gave her a huge hug. “Oh my God, I’m so happy for you, Rose,” she said. “Thank you. I’m just glad that was what all the secrecy was about. I was worried there for awhile.” “She takes that whole Oncoming Storm thing way too seriously sometimes,” Alan said. “Oncoming Storm?” Awinita said. “The Dalek’s nickname for the Doctor,” he said. “They call him the Oncoming Storm?” “Yup.” She stared at his boyish face. “I find that hard to believe.” “Why do you find that hard to believe?” Alan asked. “Because you don’t look like an Oncoming Storm to me.” Alan grinned. “Well, I guess I’ll have to prove it to you then.” “Don’t you dare, Alan,” Rose said. He gave her an innocent look. “You don’t even know what I had in mind.” “I don’t care,” she said as he giggled. “Just behave or I’ll go all Bad Wolf on ya.” Alan feigned fear for a moment and then gave her a tender smile. “Well, I suggest we go ride some rides then so I can keep out of trouble.” He gave her a kiss on the cheek and the three of them headed towards the nearest ride. “I’m not sure about this one,” Alan said. The three of them were standing in front of the Haunted Mansion ride. Rose glanced at him. “Why, are you scared?” she teased. “No, I just don’t fancy fake haunted houses. I think they’re boring. What’s Disney’s version gonna be like? Mickey Mouse jumping out at you with a bed sheet over his body while he says boo? A Goofy ghost with a disembodied head? Donald Duck dressed up as the Grim Reaper?” “Why don’t we ride it and find out?” Rose said. Alan made a face. Rose chuckled and inched closer to him. “Come on, Alan. What if I get scared and I’m all alone with no one to protect me?” she said sweetly. “Then you’re a bigger wuss than I thought,” Alan said. He ducked when Rose tried to swat his head. “Please,” Rose said. “Just ride it with me. I rode Mister Toad’s Wild Ride with you.” “Oh, alright, but don’t expect me to get too excited,” Alan said. Rose took his hand and they went and joined the queue. “I was wrong,” Alan said as the chair they were in slowly moved through the ride. This isn’t boring, this is incredibly, incredibly boring.” They went up a hill and entered an attic. Alan sighed as ghosts popped up from behind the furniture. “Yip-i-dee-doo,” he said, dryly. “That sure is terrifying alright.” He gave Rose an apologetic look. “I’m sorry; Starlight, but I have a million actual monsters haunting my memories courtesy of the Doctor. Artificial monsters just can’t compete with that.” The chair turned slightly and they went backwards down another incline into a graveyard scene. The chair turned and faced it. Hundreds of ghosts were rising out of the graveyard while an animatronic groundskeeper and his dog stared at them fearfully. “They are inventive, I give them that,” Alan said. He glanced over and waved at Awinita in the next chair. “How ‘bout you? Are you scared yet?” he called to her. “Hell, no!” “Neither am I.” “Have you two made out yet?” “No, but that’s a brilliant idea. Be a lot more entertaining than all this.” He looked at Rose, a hopeful look in his eyes. “No.” His face fell. “But shouldn’t we celebrate our engagement?” “Not in the middle of the bleedin’ haunted house ride.” “Drat.” He looked at Awinita. “She’s not interested,” he said, shrugging. “Well, wait till we get to Space Mountain then,” Awinita called back. “I think it’s a lot darker in there, less chance of you being arrested and booted out of the park.” “Brilliant, I’ll keep that in mind then, thanks!” he yelled back as Rose groaned and put her head in her hand. “You two oughta be brother and sister, you get along like a house on fire,” Rose said to him. “Well, she’s happy for us, is that so wrong?” “No, but snogging in the middle of Space Mountain is.” “Probably would be more interesting than that ride. Nothing like snogging to spice up a ride, I say.” They passed by a trio of hitchhiking ghosts. “Um…ghosts can fly, why would they need to hitchhike?” Alan said. Rose giggled. “Don’t put too much thought into this ride, just sit back and enjoy it,” she said. They passed by several mirrors. Alan’s eyes widened when they saw the ghosts sitting with them in the chair. “Hey, how’d they do that?” he said, fascinated. “That’s neat. And the ghost was right in between our bodies.” “Maybe they have some kind of sensor that can tell where our bodies are at,” Rose said. “Maybe. I wish they’d give people backstage tours. I would be more interested in learning how they did that then I would riding the ride.” Rose smiled. “Yup, you do have the Doctor’s curiosity and need to know how things work.” “What’s wrong with that? I’m sure if the Doctor were here he’d be saying the same thing. Nothing wrong with being curious about how things work.” A pair of double doors opened and Alan slammed his hand over his eyes when the chair went out it into direct sunlight. “Gah! They could have warned us before they did that,” he said. “Come on, we have to get out of the chair.” “How? I can’t see my bloody hand in front of my face anymore, let alone where to get out at,” he said, taking his hand away and blinking. Rose took his hand and both of them quickly stepped up onto a platform while the chair went on around a bend and back into the ride. Awinita followed and they stood together on the platform for a moment before they headed off towards the next ride. The three of them sat side by side in the Pirates of the Caribbean boat watching the different scenes as they slowly passed by them. “You know,” Alan said to Rose. “Pirates really were a bloodthirsty lot, ruthless in fact. Most of them did plunder and loot and rape. I think it’s odd that Disney would turn them into heroes.” “You mean the movies?” Rose said. “Yes and this ride as well. I mean, there’s a bunch of comical, lighthearted scenes in here. The Doctor has encountered pirates before and there was nothing remotely amusing about them. I think I would enjoy this ride a lot more if I didn’t have those memories in my head.” Rose pointed. “Hey, there’s Captain Jack,” she said. Alan looked around. “Harkness? What’s he doing here? And how does Disney know about him? Did he work for them at some point? Oh, wait…you mean Johnny Depp’s character, sorry, my bad,” he said as Rose swatted his arm. Awinita nudged Rose’s arm. “Oooo, Johnny Depp,” she said, grinning. “I know, he’s so hot, isn’t he?” They giggled when Alan eyed Rose. “Orlando Bloom too,” Awinita said. “Oh yeah, I loved that scene in Troy where he was naked, I wish they would have panned down and…” Awinita laughed when Alan slammed his hand over her mouth. “I believe that’s quite enough of that,” he said as Rose laughed through his hand. “Ah, come on, dear,” she said when he took his hand away. “You don’t fantasize about women?” “You,” he said, gesturing to her body. “Anyone else?” “You,” he said emphatically. “You don’t think any other woman is hot?” Awinita said. Alan pointed to the top of Rose’s head. “See this goddess sitting here? How can any other woman in the universe compare to this vision?” Awinita and Rose grinned. “He’s smooth, I’ll give him that,” Awinita said. “Oh yeah, that’s another thing he gets from the Doctor. The Doctor could charm his way out of any deathtrap he came across.” “Can I help it if you eclipse every other woman in the world?” Alan asked. He smiled at Awinita. “Not that you aren’t beautiful. It’s just that I only have eyes for Rose.” “I get that, no worries,” Awinita said. She looked at Rose. “Least you know he’ll be faithful then,” she said. “He better be or I’ll take a penknife and castrate ‘em.” They laughed as Alan stared at her in shock and scooted to the far side of the boat. He feigned fear as he hugged his body tightly. “Do I know you?” he asked as they roared with laughter. “Suddenly, I’m having second thoughts about marrying you.” “Just don’t sleep with any other woman and we’ll get along just fine,” Rose said. “Don’t bed any other woman if I want to keep my manhood intact, got it!” he said as they sniggered. Alan stared at the scene in front of him in disbelief. They were inside the Tiki Room ride sitting with about fifty other people in a circle. Above their heads animatronic birds sang and in all four corners of the room little tiki idols and plastic flowers sang with them. “This…is…stupid,” Alan finally said. “What…is…the…point…of…this?” Rose and Awinita giggled. “The point is the birds sing to ya,” Rose said. “Uh-huh, well, Disney needs to supply the audience with rifles and live ammunition so we can shoot them all for sport. I would rather have the Master strip down to an orange tutu, strap me into a chair and give me a root canal than sit through this thing one more time.” “Hear that, Rose, he wants to go on it again.” “Yeah, when we walk outside let’s get right back in line.” They giggled when Alan shot them a look. “Help yourselves. I’ll be locating a TARDIS in the meantime so I can give myself a mental enema and get this annoying, asinine song they’re singing out of my head for good.” Awinita made a face. “Mental enema? Seriously?” “Oh yeah, there is such a thing. The Doctor had to do it after we went to this Welsh village and he ended up with a bit of this insane alien god inside his head. Trust me; I didn’t watch him do it though.” “Sounds pretty handy. I think I need one too. There are quite a few things I’d like to purge from my mind.” “Same here,” Rose said. “Like what?” Alan said. “Like all the monsters I’ve seen.” “Oh, well, you should have asked. The Doctor probably would have obliged you.” “No thanks, knowing him, I would have ended up with no memories at all.” She laughed when Alan gave her an indignant look and she patted his arm. Alan rolled his eyes. He was hurrying away from Rose and Awinita who were singing the Tiki Room song to him at the top of their lungs. “IN THE TIKI, TIKI, TIKI, TIKI, TIKI ROOM. IN THE TIKI, TIKI, TIKI, TIKI, TIKI ROOM. ALL THE BIRDS SING WORDS AND THE FLOWERS CROON IN THE TIKI, TIKI, TIKI, TIKI, TIKI ROOM!” “Um, is it too late to take back my ring and call off the engagement?” Alan asked Rose. “Yes, it is too late. You’re stuck with me forever.” “Well, in that case, find a pencil and poke my eardrums out so I can spend my marriage in blissful deafness,” he said as she and Awinita bent over laughing. “Here you go, Alan,” Rose said, holding him a plastic cup that was molded in the shape of Eeyore. Alan took a sip and swallowed a mouthful of fruit punch. Rose had brought one in the shape of Simba and Awinita had Dumbo. They walked away from the cart and over towards a nearby bench. “So,” Rose said as they sat down. “How are we going to celebrate our engagement?” “I was thinking over at the Pleasure Island thing. The guidebook said it was for adults and it had a couple of nice restaurants,” he replied. “So, later on tonight then?” He nodded. “Except, what’s Awinita gonna do?” “I can go somewhere else. There’s that Cirque Du Soleil show. I can go see that while you guys have dinner,” she said. He nodded. “And then we can meet up again afterwards?” he said. “Yeah, once we get over there, let’s find a spot to meet at,” Awinita said. “You sure you’re alright with that?” Rose asked. “Well, yeah, I mean you guys need to celebrate. I’ll be alright on my own, trust me.” “Well, you could also eat but be at another table,” Alan said. “I don’t want you to starve just so we can have a bit of privacy.” “Well, do you guys want to see Cirque Du Soleil too?” Alan looked at Rose. “Your call, it doesn’t matter to me either way,” he said. Rose thought. “How about this? You do what Alan suggested and eat at the same time as us and then afterwards we can all see the show. It’ll still be a romantic thing for us to do.” “I’m alright with that if Awinita is.” “It’s fine with me.” She grinned. “Can I borrow your camera though, Rose, so I can take photos of you while you make out?” “No, you will not be borrowing her camera,” Alan said as they laughed. “You will be sitting with your eyes looking away from us.” He gave her an evil grin. “That way I can throw her across the table and rip her clothes off without you ogling us.” Awinita choked on the juice in her mouth. She held her hand over her mouth trying not to laugh at that while Rose eyed Alan. “Knowing you, you’ll do it,” Rose said. “Well, supposedly it’s an adult section so I’m sure they expect people to do adult things,” Alan said. “I don’t think they had that in mind when they said it was for adults,” Rose said. “What? You mean they don’t have the Mickey Mouse Brothel where Mickey and Minnie strip and make love for you?” Alan said. Rose made a face. “Ugh, now I have an image of that. Thanks, Alan, just what I needed,” she said as they laughed. “And Pluto will watch them just like any other dog would do,” Awinita said. “And Goofy too,” Alan added. “I think the only goofy one is you,” Rose said to him. “I’m just saying, dear, if it’s an adult section they should have adult entertainment. They should rent hotel rooms by the hour and let people shag on Mickey Mouse shaped beds while they play pornographic Disney cartoons.” Rose stared at him. “You have a wild imagination, you do know that, right?” she said. “I’m just saying, Rose,” he said as Awinita laughed. “They’re calling the thing Pleasure Island. What’s more pleasurable than sex? Especially when you’re snuggling in bed together watching Aladdin and Jasmine having a three way with the Genie on the telly?” “Oh God, shut up!” Rose said as Awinita bent over laughing. “Shut up, I don’t want to even imagine that!” She glanced at him and he gave her an evil grin and waggled his eyebrows. “This is gonna be one hell of an interesting marriage, I can just tell that already,” Rose said. “I’m just saying, Rose, Pleasure Island….” “Alright!” she said as they roared with laughter. “I get it, now shut up before I stick my straw in your ear and Simba up your nose! God…you are a complete pest sometimes.” Alan gave her a wicked grin and leaned into her ear. “Snow White having an orgy with the Seven Dwarves,” he muttered. He leapt up and ran away when Rose tried to hit the back of his head. She shook her head and looked at Awinita. “I hope you know what you got yourself into when you decided to keep on traveling with us,” she said to her.
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