SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW
Chapter Sixty Six Rose was awakened early the next morning by Alan’s fingertips in her armpit. She gasped and looked back at him. He was propped up on one arm looking down at her with an impish grin on his face. “Up and at em, time for another funtastic day at the Magic Kingdom,” he said. “You did wake me up at a decent hour, I hope?” “It’s 7:30 in the morning, is that decent enough?” “Just as long as it’s not 3:00 a.m. is all I’m saying,” she muttered. She glanced back at him and saw the eager look on his face. “You inherited the Doctor’s urge to be an early riser, you know that?” “Sleep is overrated and boring. If I were a full Time Lord I wouldn’t have to worry about it, but now that I’ve had a bit of a kip, it’s up and at em, campers!” Rose turned her bleary eyes to Awinita’s bed and noticed she was hidden underneath the covers. “You awake?” she called out. “Trying not to be,” she heard her say. “I’m hoping if I lay here under the covers Alan won’t disturb me.” “What’s wrong with you two? Lots to do, lots to see!” he said, hopping up and going to the bathroom. “We got two more parks to cover and a hurricane is on the way, get up and get to it.” “You might as well get up, Awinita, if he’s anything like the Doctor, there’s no arguing with ‘em.” Awinita lowered the covers down to eye level and looked at her. “I take it this was a common occurrence on the TARDIS,” she said. “Too bloody right it was. The Doctor is definitely a morning person and an afternoon and an evening person. Like Alan said, he thought sleep was overrated and you had to be ready because at any moment he was dragging you out of bed to go explore a planet.” Alan stuck his head out of the bathroom. “Bloody hell, you two still in bed? Come on, the queues will be stretching back to the car park by the time we get there!” Rose gasped when he sprinted over, threw off the blanket and gathered her in his arms. “Come on, I’ll help you wake up!” he said, taking her to the bathroom. “Alan, put me down, I’m awake now!” Rose said. Awinita found the remote and turned on the Weather Channel in order to check the progress of the tropical storm. To her relief, she saw it was still far away from Florida, but it was gaining in strength and was now a category one hurricane. Rose stepped outside the bathroom door and watched it with her. “We have two of the main parks left, yeah?” she said to Awinita. “Animal Kingdom and MGM. We can probably see those but I don’t know about the Typhoon Lagoon or Blizzard Beach ones. We may have to leave before we get to those.” “Aw,” Alan said from the bathroom. “I wanted to go on the water slides.” “It’s not for sure yet, Alan,” Rose said. “The storm might die down before it gets here or change course, but right now, we’ve probably got about three or four days before it hits and the last thing I wanna do is fight the traffic on the motorway. We see one of the two main parks today and the other tomorrow. As long as we can do that, we’ll get our money’s worth.” “What about the days left?” Awinita said. “If we have to leave early will they give you a refund?” “I don’t know, I’ll have to check.” “Well, I hope they do,” Alan said. “Especially if you’re being forced to leave.” “They may not though,” Awinita said. “I think the only time Disney closed for a hurricane was when Andrew came through Florida in ’92 and that’s only because it was a huge category five hurricane. If they don’t close for this one then I have a feeling you’ll be SOL, Rose.” “Well, like I said, we’ll just wait and see what happens in the next few days before we make our decision. We may not have to leave at all. The other question is which park do you guys want to see today? Animal Kingdom or MGM?” “I’d rather stay here in Animal Kingdom so we don’t have as far to go tonight when we come back,” Awinita said. “How about you, Alan?” “If Awinita wants to stay here today, that’s fine with me. I’ll be happy either way.” “You’re easy to please, aren’t you?” Awinita said. Alan looked out the door at her and smiled. “Another way I’m like the Doctor is both of us enjoy the company of others more than we do the actual places. That’s why the Doctor isn’t too picky about where the TARDIS goes. As long as he’s with close friends and people he cares about, he’s happy. I’m the same way. Disneyworld is Disneyworld no matter which park we go to. I get more of a kick out of laughing and joking with you two than I do going on a specific ride. If you want to stay in Animal Kingdom today, that’s perfectly fine. Just as long as we have a blast and come back happy and tired at the end of the day, that’s all that matters.” He jerked his head back in the bathroom. “You need to use the bathroom? I’m done now,” he said. “Yeah, I’ll go next if Rose is cool with it.” “Take your time, I’m still trying to see what the weather’s gonna be like today, hurricane or no hurricane.” Awinita grabbed her rucksack and switched places with Alan. He went and sat down behind her on the bed and reached into his rucksack for a fresh pair of socks. “How are you feeling?” Alan asked. “Well, other than the fact you woke me up from a sound sleep and I’m still groggy, I’m feeling good,” she said. He moved closer to her. “Any dreams?” he said softly. Rose looked back at him. “Valeyard, you mean?” He nodded. “No.” “Not any dreams of the Valeyard wrecking the wedding?” “Not so far.” “Good.” She put her hand on his cheek. “Nothin’s gonna happen at the wedding, love. I promise ya we’ll get through it without a hitch, alright?” He nodded and gave her a kiss. “Just let me know if…you-know-who shows up in your dreams again,” he said. “Okay, you let me know if you marry any more Daleks.” He grinned. “It’s a deal.” “This better be good,” Alan said as they stood in line for the Expedition Everest roller coaster. “It’s supposed to be good. The guidebook said it’s got a huge Yeti somewhere inside the mountain,” Rose said. She frowned when Alan giggled. “What?” “The Doctor’s met Yeti before but I have a feeling it’s not the Yeti that Disney’s thinking of.” “Why? What are the Yeti the Doctor knows about?” Rose asked. “They’re furry alien robots that serve an entity called the Great Intelligence.” “Okay, yeah, I’m sure that’s not the Yeti Disney had in mind,” Rose said as Awinita laughed. He made a face. “Even with these Fastpass things, we still have to wait to get in. I hate queues,” he said. “Well, think of how long a wait it’d be if we didn’t do the Fastpass,” Awinita said. “Ugh, I can just imagine,” Alan said. “This one’s brand new, Alan,” Rose said. “You gotta expect some type of queue for it.” “Not to mention it’s a roller coaster, not some little kiddy ride that’s been here for twenty years,” Awinita added. After a few more minutes, they reached the coaster and Alan sighed as he sat down near the front with Rose at his side. Awinita climbed in behind them with a teenage girl and they waited while an attendant walked by checking the restraints and making sure they were secure. “I hope this is better than Space Mountain,” Alan said to her. “That was a right snooze.” “You like thrill rides, don’tcha?” Rose asked. “Oh yeah, the more exciting, the better.” “It’s just that the Doctor never really rode the rides when we went to amusement parks and he certainly didn’t ride the roller coasters.” “Well, the Doctor needs to get his head out of his ass and live a little. No offense, but there are times when that Gallifreyan pomposity of his rears its ugly head and occasionally he won’t do things that he views as childish like amusement park rides. I’m half human so I could give less than a fig about who sees me on the Ferris Wheel or something like that. All I want to do is have fun with my fiancée and my friend.” There was a slight jerk and the cars began to slowly move along the track. Alan took Rose’s hand while they moved forward along the twisting track and then began to climb a steep incline. As they slowly ascended, both Rose and Alan looked around at the park below them. “Eeeee!” Rose squealed when they reached the top and began speeding up. Alan laughed and let out a whoop as the cars sped along the track. As they turned a corner they suddenly saw the track in front of them was destroyed and jutting up into the sky as if someone had ripped it up. The cars stopped right in front of it and sat there. Alan and Rose glanced over at the mountain when they heard a roar. “I guess they’re implying the Yeti did this?” Alan said gesturing to the ripped up track. Suddenly, the roller coaster began to move backwards. “Crap!” Rose screamed as Alan roared with laughter. The cars descended into the darkness of a cave and they went backwards down a hill. Alan laughed as Rose half laughed/ half screamed and held his hand tightly. They went back down the hill and stopped near a huge movie screen. On it they could see the silhouette of a huge Yeti as it jumped on some track and ripped it up. “Yup, the Yeti did it! Told you!” Alan yelled at Rose. Then, they started to go forward and went out of the tunnel. Rose screamed as they barreled down a steep hill. She grasped Alan’s arm while he laughed and kissed her cheek. They rounded a bend and went back into another tunnel. Suddenly they could see a gigantic animatronic Yeti above them. Rose screamed when it tried to grab the cars. “Whoa!” Alan said. “That is absolutely brilliant!” The car finally pulled back into the station and Rose and Alan looked at each other. “That was fantastic!” Alan said. “The best bloody ride in the whole park!” They climbed out and Awinita ran up to them. “Guys, we gotta go on that again later! That was so cool!” she said. “I know! That giant Yeti. That was just a stroke of genius having it right there at the end!” Alan said. “Yes, we definitely gotta ride this at least one more time.” “Well, let’s wait till the end of the day and we’ll ride it again before we go back to the hotel. In the meantime, let’s see what other rides they have here.” Rose glanced at Alan when they came to the entrance of the Kilimanjaro Safari ride. “Are you still in a giraffe ass kicking mood? Because if you are, we’ll keep going.” “Nah, I won’t do that here, too much security. I’ll wait until we get out in the middle of the African savannah where no one’s watching,” he said with a twinkle in his eyes. Rose shot Awinita an exasperated look before taking his hand and walking with her towards the line. “Hello and welcome to Kilimanjaro Safaris. My name is Kelly and I’ll be your guide for today,” the woman said as she drove the huge tram down a narrow road through a thick, dense forest. The three friends sat side by side while they looked left and right at the plants and wildlife. “On your left, you’ll see a black rhino,” Kelly said. “Oh, lookie, a Judoon,” Alan muttered to Rose. “Or a kissing cousin of a Judoon, at any rate.” “That’s what Judoon looked like?” Rose said softly. “Yes, except they walked upright like humans.” Kelly paused for a moment so people could admire the rhino and then drove on down the road continuing with her rehearsed spiel. Alan only half listened to her, his attention focused on the flora and fauna that they were driving past. As they went along the bumpy road, his mind picked out and identified different species. He felt Rose ruffle his hair and he turned and smiled at her. “Enjoying yourself?” he asked. “Extremely. What about you? You like this ride?” “It’s alright, it would be better if they had some ravenous pygmy headhunters jump out and attack the tram.” “Only you would get excited ‘bout that,” she said. “You know me, nothing like the thought of running from pint-sized savages to get my heart a-racing. Besides I can rescue my fiancée from the boiling cauldron of doom and prevent her from ending up as a shrunken head in some chieftain’s hut.” “I think you’ve got it backwards. I think I’d be the one savin’ your hide,” Rose said. “And now I need to remind everyone to keep their hands inside the vehicle because we’re approaching a bridge and if you fall out, you’ll be swimming with the Nile crocodiles,” Kelly said. “And if that happens, the Disney Company will be furious at your next of kin because we’ll have to spend time and manpower in a futile effort to save you from becoming croc nibbles,” Alan said to Rose and Awinita. They snickered. “Nile crocodiles are not only larger than American alligators, they are also more aggressive,” Kelly intoned. “But not as aggressive as the Bambazoolia who will not only eat you alive from the feet up but will also dance around your body in a victory dance before doing so while they pee on your head and chant house on fire, house on fire, put it out.” Awinita and Rose bent over laughing as Alan gave them a wicked grin. He listened while Kelly pretended to talk with a man on her CB radio who was telling her that elephants were up ahead somewhere. “Did you hear that, ladies and gentlemen?” Kelly said. “There may be elephants up ahead so hopefully we’ll see them when the time comes.” “Well, that wasn’t reassuring,” Alan said to his friends. “If imaginary African man is telling her elephants are up ahead, shouldn’t the buggers be chained up so we can be sure to see them? Kinda like Jurassic Park, innit? I mean, why bother going on the ride if you aren’t gonna get to see the T-Rex eat the goat?” He shrugged when both women gave him an odd look. “I’m just saying the Disney Company needs to watch that movie and learn what happens when you let animals just roam free in enclosures. ‘Course the elephants aren’t gonna devour us alive like the raptors did…then again, they might be bored out of their skulls living here and turned into flesh eaters in order to have something to do.” Awinita stared at him and looked at Rose. “Is he alright? I think the sun might be getting to him.” “Sadly, this is normal behavior for him, don’t worry about it.” They laughed when Alan shot them a look. “I’m just saying…” “I know you’re just saying, dear, but it helps us immensely if you don’t wander off on weird rants.” “Why not, you two do it. Therefore, I can too.” They rounded a bend. “And on your right, you’ll see reticulated giraffes.” Rose’s eyes instantly went to Alan and she saw him perk up. “You wanna die, just make a move to get out of that seat!” she said, pointing to his lap. “Giraffe is derived from an Arabic word; it means “one who walks with grace.” Kelly said. “Won’t be walking with grace when I snap its legs off at its knees,” Alan murmured to Rose. “Just try to contain yourself till we get past ‘em,” Rose said, patting his leg. “This stretch of land we’re driving through is the Serengeti Savannah. It stretches for hundreds of miles and hundreds of animals migrate through it each year,” Kelly said, rounding another bend. Alan’s eyes widened. He poked Rose in the arm. “Yeah?” she said. “Disney Animal Kingdom is hundreds of miles long?” he said. “Blimey, I knew they had a lot of land tied up in this park but not that much. How many people’s homes did they have to bulldoze to build this thing?” Awinita giggled as Rose shook her head. “Alan,” she whispered in his ear. “Hmmm?” “It’s pretend, play along,” she whispered. “You mean we’re supposed to imagine we’re in Africa?” he said. “Yeah,” she whispered. “Oooooooooh, I see, I get it now! Do they also brainwash the animals to make them think they’re also in Africa?” “Probably.” “Oooh, well, learn something new every day then.” Rose glanced at Awinita and rolled her eyes. They rounded another corner. “On the left, you’ll see another reticulated giraffe as well as a small herd of sable antelope. As you can see, the sable antelope all have slightly different colored coats. That’s because in a herd of sable antelope the hierarchy is determined by what color coat you have. The darker your coat, the higher up you are in the hierarchy.” Alan let out a melodramatic gasp. “Sable antelopes are racist, you hear that, Rose? Shame on them.” “Oh God,” Rose groaned as Awinita sniggered. “That giraffe is eating. Giraffes spend about eighteen to twenty hours every day just eating.” “Well gee, Rose, Alan oughta get along with them really well since he eats as long as they do, maybe he should reconsider kicking their asses!” Alan lightly swatted Awinita’s head when both women laughed at that. “And if you look over to your left, you’ll see things that resemble sand castles but they are in fact termite mounds. The termites build the mounds out of mud that hardens in the sun and becomes as strong as concrete which the elephants then use to rub up against like a scratching post.” “Boy, I bet that’s inconvenient,” Alan said to them. “Termite returns home after a hard day of eating houses and a great bloody elephant is blocking the door to his house because it feels a need to scratch its bum.” They rounded another bend. Alan glanced past Kelly and saw another tram about a half mile away from them. He leaned in to Rose. “Know what would make this even more thrilling?” he said. “Um…pint sized headhunters coming after me and trying to make me into soup?” “No, besides that.” “What?” “If we started racing the other tram in a kind of death race and ram any animals that get in our way in our bid to be first back to the station.” “I think Disney would frown on that.” “Why? After all, it would give the animals a bit of exercise when they ran from us in terror.” He sighed when they heard the CB radio crackle and the man began to speak to Kelly. “Do they have to do this? It’s so idiotic, this pretend conversation. Isn’t it enough to just view the animals without pretending we’re in the middle of Kenya or something?” he said to Rose. “We just found a baby elephant wandering alone, the mother is missing,” the man said. “We suspect poachers so keep your eyes open.” Alan perked up at that. “At last, we’re gonna get violence and bloodshed on this tour!” he said. “We gotta keep our eyes open,” Kelly said to them. “Trouble might be brewing up ahead so keep a close eye out and let me know if you see anything.” “Oh yes!” Alan said. “A poacher gun battle! Now we’re getting somewhere!” Rose and Awinita exchanged glances and giggled. They rounded another corner. “I do actually see an elephant here on the right,” Kelly said as they came upon a watering hole. “For the love of all that’s sacred, flee little saggy baggy beastie,” Alan said, melodramatically. “There’s a gun wielding maniac on the loose!” He smiled when Rose chuckled and put her arms around him. “I’m glad you’re havin’ fun,” she said to him. “Oh yes, this one’s tons better than the one at the hotel,” he said. Alan frowned when Kelly turned on the radio and an African song began to play. “What happened? Did Disney run out of nifty animal facts for Miss I Only Work During The Summer to say?” he said. They turned a corner. “And on the right you’ll see more elephants.” “Oh, I guess not,” Alan said, shrugging. As they watched the elephants, Rose snickered. “What?” Alan said. She put her chin on her shoulder. “Should I tell Awinita about the time the Doctor almost married an elephant?” she asked. “I don’t care, have at it.” “You don’t mind?” “Why should I mind, it wasn’t me technically, go ahead and tell her all about it.” “Come again? The Doctor married an elephant?” Awinita said. “Almost married one. I don’t know all the details but apparently at some point the emperor of…” “Golibo,” Alan said, half listening, as he looked at the elephants. “Golibo, yeah. He wanted the Doctor to marry his pet elephant and he managed to run off before it happened, I guess.” Alan slowly turned his head and saw the two of them staring at him with huge grins on their faces. “What? Why are you looking at me, I’m not the one who did that,” he said. “Technically you did because you’re a clone,” Awinita said in a hushed voice. “No, technically I did not because I wasn’t around then. I don’t claim the Doctor’s memories as my own because I didn’t personally live through them. So you can just giggle at someone else and leave me out of it.” The music was switched off. “Already? Darn, I guess we have to go back to listening to Miss Scripted Spiel then,” he muttered to the girls. “I wanted to switch off the radio for a moment because we’re coming up on an old bridge,” she said, slowing down. “It’s just old, it won’t break but it’s a little wobbly.” They gasped when the bridge began to sway. “Fiver it does break and we plunge to our deaths,” Rose said. “You’re…” His mouth shut when the tram made it safely across. He sighed. “damn, I didn't say it fast enough,” he muttered. They turned another corner and came upon some more elephants. Alan listened, bored, while Kelly talked about elephant's social groupings and how important it was for the elephants to be together. He sighed. “I wonder how long it took this woman to learn all this stuff?” he muttered into Rose’s ear. “Probably gave her a book of animal facts that she could use on the tour,” Rose muttered back. “You know, just little things she can throw out in case we run into a certain animal. I doubt if they stick to a strict script since the animals can roam around.” “Yeah, but, you notice that none of the animals has been in the road?” Alan whispered back. “You would think we’d have run into a buffalo or an elephant or an antelope blocking the way by now.” “Maybe these are enclosures but they made it so it doesn’t look like there are any barriers, yeah? Like electric fencing that’s buried at the edge of the road or something? They have crocs in here, Alan, they can’t let those free. They eat everything else, they’d have nothing left.” They turned off and headed through some shallow water. “And on our left we see a group of flamingos,” Kelly said. “So, I’m guessing they clip the flamingo’s wings then,” Alan whispered to Rose. She nodded. “Yeah, I bet it’s something like that, those cranes as well,” she said. “Despite your earlier rant about Jurassic Park, I’m betting the animals aren’t as free as you think they are, otherwise they wouldn’t have much of a tour.” She noticed his eyes flashed anger at that. “I know, love, I don’t like that they keep these animals caged here either, but there’s nothing we can do. At least they have enough space to roam around in.” “Maybe, but a cage is still a cage no matter how big it is or what it looks like,” Alan muttered to her. The tram rounded another bend. “And here we see zebras,” Kelly said. “Each zebra has a unique stripe pattern. No two zebras are exactly alike.” “Ha! We found that out yesterday, so sod the little teenage know-it-all up there!” he whispered to Rose. She giggled. “And on your right, there are some eggs, I’m guessing they’re ostrich eggs,” Kelly said. Alan’s eyes widened. “Oho, another animal I want to get back at for snapping at me!” he said as Rose rolled her eyes. The CB crackled. “Ought oh, her lord and master is calling again. Maybe he’s ordering her to kill us all,” he said. “Kelly, I got a report that there is danger! You need to turn west!” the voice said. “Ok, 10-4, turning west,” Kelly said into the receiver as she turned the tram to the right. “Why? What’s east?” Alan said, as Rose and Awinita laughed. “Are the poachers east? Damn it; turn around so we can watch a gun battle!” They slowed down. “Oh!” Kelly said, pointing. “If you look to your left, you’ll see a couple of cheetahs. They’re kinda hard to see, but they’re there lying in the grass.” “Oh my, you mean we actually get to see some of the big cats on this safari?” Alan muttered to his friends. “And here I thought “Africa” was felineless.” “And what could be more cooler than those cheetahs, except…oh! There’s a lion up there sunning itself on that rock!” “Now this is more like it!” Alan said as they all turned to look at it. “Bring on the big cats!” She drove off again. “Lions are pretty much inactive for about eighteen to twenty hours a day,” Kelly said. “And…oh! If you look off to the right, you’ll see some white rhinos.” “Brilliant, will we get to see the lion eat the rhinos?” Alan said to Rose. They drove on. “I guess not,” Rose said, shrugging. They drove on for about a half mile and then the CB crackled again. “Kelly, there are some poachers in the area!” the man said. “Oh, do you hear that guys?” Kelly said. “Do you wanna go catch some poachers?” Rose giggled when she saw the excited look on Alan’s face. “I don’t think Kelly has to worry about the poachers. I think Alan will take them all on single-handed while we just sit here,” she said while Awinita nodded in agreement. The tram sped up. “Alright, let’s go get them guys!” Kelly said. Both women laughed when they heard Alan chant, “gun battle, gun battle, gun battle.” “Just hold on, love, we’re going after ‘em,” Rose said, patting his arm. They drove through a gate and over a bridge. Kelly slowed down. “Okay, you know what, guys. I don’t know this area very well and I don’t know what we’re getting into, so I’m gonna take it reaaaaally slow for right now.” “Gun battle, gun battle, gun battle,” Alan said as Rose and Awinita snorted out laughter. They rounded another bend and they heard the man shouting at Kelly over the CB. “Okay, guys, this might get really dangerous so just hold on, I don’t know what the poachers are gonna do.” “Gun battle, gun battle, gun battle…” They drove past a series of geysers. “Okay, guys, I think I hear the poachers so we’re gonna go this way,” she said, speeding up. “We’re coming up on their camp now.” “Gun battle, gun battle, gun battle…” They turned a corner. “Oh man, I’m sorry, I guess the poachers have already deserted their camp,” Kelly said as they came upon the campsite. Rose and Awinita bit their lips when Alan’s mouth nearly dropped to his feet. “No gun battle?” he said in disbelief. “Oh, not to worry, they ran right onto my front lawn, “CB man said. “Thanks to you, they are now apprehended.” “Glad I could help,” Kelly said. Rose hazarded a look at Alan who was seething. “Hey, it was a nice ride even without the gun battle, yeah?” she said, patting his arm sympathetically while Awinita laughed. “Three words…Disney must die!” he said as both of them laughed harder. “We’d like to thank you all for riding with us and hopefully you’ve learned a bit about the wildlife and learned the importance of conservation and we’re really glad you were with us today,” Kelly said as they pulled back into the station. For a moment, Rose was sure Alan was going to pounce on Kelly and beat her up for deceiving him. But he merely glared at her as he exited the vehicle behind her and Awinita. “I’m sorry, darling, I know you had your heart set on a poacher gun battle,” she said sympathetically. “That was a low blow. That was the same as telling a five year old there’s no Father Christmas. How dare they dangle an exciting gun battle in front of my nose and snatch it away at the last minute.” Rose studied his face and looked at Awinita. “How ‘bout we find a restaurant so Alan can calm down before he finds some poor soul dressed as Simba and takes his frustration out on ‘em,” she said. “Sounds good to me,” Awinita said. She walked around the other side of Alan. “If it makes you feel any better, I agree with the whole Disney must die thing,” she said, winking. “I was looking forward to a gun battle too.” “Well,” Alan sighed. “I guess I should be happy that the poachers and Kelly didn’t break into song and do an interpretive dance about conservation or something.” He smiled and put his arms around him. “Come on, you two, let’s go find somewhere to eat,” he said.
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