SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW
Chapter Seventy One “Rise and shine, my sleepyhead.” Rose’s eyes slowly fluttered open when she heard Alan whisper in her ear and felt his lips brushing the rim of it. “Up and at em,” he whispered to her. “Or should I sing the free credit report dot com song again.” “You do and you’ll find your nose at the back of your head,” Rose muttered. Alan shifted when she rolled onto her back and looked up at him. He brushed the hair away from her face and laid his hand on her cheek. “Rain’s stopped,” he said. “That’s good,” Rose muttered. “We still need to check the weather though. Find out where that hurricane’s at. Is Awinita awake?” “Not yet, I’m the first one up, as usual,” he said. “I swear, you humans and your need to sleep all day.” “I wouldn’t talk, you’re half, remember.” “So you keep reminding me.” “Hey, until you get a hold of a chameleon arch you’re just gonna have to live with that.” “I know, disgusting, isn’t it?” “Oi, watch it,” she said as he chuckled. “Funny you should say that. That was also Donna’s reaction when I said that to her. Course she wasn’t quite as gentle about it as you were.” He yawned and stretched. “Well, let’s go and get a bit of breakfast, get on Expedition Everest and head out to the last park before the oncoming storm hits.” He scooted out of bed while Rose slowly rose up and swung her feet over the edge. He put his finger to his lip when Rose started to wake Awinita. He tiptoed over to her and leaned down into her ear. “In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room,” he sang softly in her ear. “In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room, all the birds sing words and the flowers croon in the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Tiki room.” “I thought you hated that song,” Awinita mumbled. “I do, but I figured if anything got your attention and pulled you back from the Land of Nod, it would be that.” She opened her eyes and stared at him. “Mornin’ already?” she muttered. “Yes, indeedy, so up and at em before hurricane what’s-its-face comes to call.” “I think it’s named Hurricane Charlene,” Awinita mumbled. Alan made a face. “What a stupid name. How is that supposed to strike fear in the heart of anyone and make them run for cover? They need to call it Hurricane Deathslammer or Hurricane Corpsemaker, then people would take it seriously.” Awinita raised her eyebrow. “Or Hurricane Bloodreign just so it rhymes?” Alan offered. Awinita snickered. She gave him an affectionate pat on the cheek before pulling back the covers and slowly sitting up. She shuffled towards the bathroom while Rose turned on the TV to the Weather Channel. Alan reached down into his rucksack for his comb and sat down beside her, watching the forecast while he combed his unruly hair. He sighed when he noticed the hurricane was still heading for them. “Awinita,” Rose called, “they think it’s gonna hit Florida by tomorrow morning. It’s a category three now so we better leave right after we get through MGM.” “Okay,” Awinita said. Rose kissed Alan on the cheek when she saw the crestfallen look on his face. “There’ll be other fun things to do on our journey, my love,” she said. He nodded. Rose gave him another kiss on the cheek before she went to the bathroom to get ready. Rose made sure that they rode Expedition Everest first thing since they were leaving that night. The second time didn’t have the element of surprise but it was still just as exciting. Alan made sure to keep his eyes up towards the Yeti so he could get a good look at it as the car passed under it. “That Yeti is amazing,” he said to his friends as they made their way to the bus that would take them to the park. “We need to make one for our TARDIS and put it just above the front door so it’ll menace anyone who comes in.” “Plannin’ on havin’ a lot of people come into the TARDIS then?” Rose asked. “Weeeell, I figured maybe we can find this universe’s version of Captain Jack and invite him in for tea just so we can see his reaction,” he said. “I’m surprised you’d wanna go find Jack since you were so worried about him being around me and Awinita.” “You have a point. Okay, we won’t find him but we’ll look around and see if there any alternate versions of friends we know. Like Sarah Jane.” “Or Donna?” Rose said. “Maybe but there’s only one Donna in my eyes,” he said fondly. “An alternate universe Donna just won’t be the same.” They reached the bus stop and stood waiting for the bus to pick them up. After five minutes, it pulled up and the three of them got onboard. “Oh yes, the Tower of Terror ride, I’ve wanted to ride this for a long time,” Awinita said. They stood and looked up at it listening to the terrified screams drifting from the interior. “This is nothing, I know a scarier Tower of Terror, her mum’s flat.” He grunted when Rose smacked him in the chest. “So, are you two women brave enough to go on this ride?” Alan said. Rose gave him a “surely, you can’t be serious” look. “I’ve seen worse thing than this, what makes you think I’m gonna be scared of a stupid ride,” she said. “Because this…is the Twilight Zone,” Alan said, dramatically. “I know a scarier Twilight Zone, your body in the shower,” Rose said. Awinita laughed as he smacked her in the stomach. “Turnabout, my dearest, turnabout,” he said when Rose eyed him. “You’re entering a dimension, a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind…” “A dimension of overacting,” Alan whispered to Rose as they watched the film. Rose snickered. “You just crossed over into…the Twilight Zone.” “Ooooeeeeoooo,” Alan said. “Hollywood, 1939, amidst the glamour and glitter of that golden age, the Hollywood Tower Hotel was a star in its own right. A beacon for the show business elite. Now…something is about to happen that’ll change all that.” On the film lightning struck the hotel and zapped the guests. “The lightning not only zapped the hotel guests into the Twilight Zone,” Alan said, imitating Rod Serling. “It also made the movie stars nice and crispy like bacon. Bacon that was eaten…in the Twilight Zone.” Rose and Awinita bent over laughing. “The time is now on an evening very much like the one we’ve just witnessed,” the voiceover said. The camera panned over to a Rod Serling lookalike. “Hey, I thought he was dead,” Alan said. “This truly is… the Twilight Zone!” “Tonight’s story is somewhat unique and calls for a different kind of introduction,” Rod said, gesturing to a closed lift behind him. “This, as you may recognize, is a maintenance service elevator. Still in operation, waiting for you. We invite you to step on board because in tonight’s episode, you are the star. And this elevator travels directly to…the Twilight Zone.” “The Twilight Zone…bought to you by the Disney Corporation. Disneyfiying scary things since 1928,” Alan said. They headed towards the service elevator with a group of people. “Welcome to the Hollywood Tower Hotel,” a man dressed as a bellhop said. “Your elevator has arrived and is ready to take you to your room.” The doors opened. “Have a pleasant stay,” he said, stepping back. All of them stepped inside and sat down. After being restrained, the doors shut and the car began to go up the shaft. “The Doctor’s clone and his companions,” Alan said, imitating Rod Serling, “on a pleasant holiday at Disney, they board the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror ride thinking it’ll be a fun little diversion. But what they don’t know is the doors are about to open and they will find themselves battling Slitheen on Raxicoricofallipatorius. Slitheen that exist…in the Twilight Zone.” Rose snorted out laughter. The car stopped and a wall slid open in front of them. For a moment they looked out at the park and then suddenly the car raced down the shaft. Everyone screamed as the car went up and down, stopping and starting at random spots. Rose grabbed Alan’s hand and held it tightly while he laughed and whooped and hollered. “Oh man, that was great!” Awinita said when they exited the building. “That was everything I’d thought it be.” “Me too, that was fantastic!” Rose said. She looked at Alan. “What’d about you? You like it?” He looked at her with bulging eyes. “Alan Timelord, “he said in his Rod Serling voice. “A half human, half alien from a faraway planet called Gallifrey. An alien who has just rode the Tower of Terror ride and soiled himself out of fear. Now this poor soul is condemned to walk around the park all day in poo-filled underwear. Underwear that exists…in the Twilight Zone.” “Oh Jesus, now he’s gonna be doing this for the rest of the day,” Rose said to Awinita. “You aren’t concerned that I soiled myself?” Alan said. His eyes bulged when Rose bent down to his butt and took a big whiff. “Nah,” she said, straightening up. “You’re fine. Let’s go.” Awinita bent over laughing while Alan stared at Rose, shocked. “Did you see that? She just sniffed my ass in public,” he said gesturing to her. He jumped up and spun around in mid-air so his butt was facing her and bent down. “Do it again, dear, I don’t think you caught the slight aroma of feces that time,” he said, pointing to his bum. He gasped when Rose smacked his ass as hard as she could. “Straighten up, Stitch, we got a park to see,” Rose said. She ran off when Alan gave her a dirty look. “She just smacked my bum, d’ya see that?” he said to Awinita. “Well, that’ll teach you to wave it under her nose,” she said, shrugging. “That’ll teach you to wave it under her nose,” he said in a snotty voice while Awinita ran to catch up to Rose. They looked up at the Rock ‘n’ Roller coaster ride. “Gee, I don’t know if we oughta ride this one. Alan’s underwear might get even more soiled,” Rose said to Awinita. “Yeah, maybe he needs to go back to the Magic Kingdom and ride the Snow White Ride, that’s probably more his speed,” she said. “Or It’s A Small World?” Rose said. “Or The Tiki Room,” Awinita said, shrugging. “Or The Haunted Mansion,” Rose offered. “Well, bye, I’m getting in the queue!” Alan called as he walked off. “Have fun poking fun at me in the meantime.” He noticed them following him and with a grin took off running. He smiled when he could hear them laughing behind him and thought to himself that there wasn’t a more pleasant sound in the whole universe. “Another awesome ride,” Awinita said when the left the roller coaster. “Yes…now let’s see, has Alan soiled himself again?” Alan did his little spin and bend. “Go ahead and check!” he said, pointing to his butt. Rose grinned, raised her hand up and held it aloft. “Go ahead, do the whole S&M thing again, I like that too,” he said, leering at her. “Nah, not in the mood,” Rose said, lowering her hand and walking off. Alan looked up at Awinita. “Nice ass, it’s another cute thing of yours,” she said. He let out a sigh and mumbled under his breath about being cute when she hurried to catch up with Rose. “Hey!” Awinita said, pointing to a queue. “Let’s take Alan to the Jedi Training Academy! I’m sure an alien like him will want to hone his fighting skills.” Alan snorted. “Star Wars, Schmar Wars, I can tie Darth Vader into a teeny tiny pretzel. The TARDIS could crumple the Death Star like tissue paper. I don’t need my fighting skills honed in any way. Now, as for Rose, Miss Kiss the Dirt might benefit from a lesson or two since I can still kick her ass during our aikido sessions.” He ducked when Rose tried to grab his arm and twist it behind his back. “As I was saying,” he said, “Rose is slower than a quadriplegic snail. So go ahead and sign her up for Jedi Academy. I’ll be over here giggling insanely at her and counting how many times she goes down.” He ducked again when she tried to slap the back of his head. “Keep at it, dear, one day you might get lucky and catch me unawares,” he said, walking off. Rose gave Awinita an exasperated look before they followed him. After spending most of the day seeing the sights, the three of them stopped inside Mama Melrose's Ristorante Italiano for supper. Alan ordered the spaghetti again and he and Rose shared it while Awinita ate fettuccini. “Hard to believe that our Disney adventure is almost at an end,” Alan said. “The whole thing’s been brilliant.” “Yup, we’ll definitely have to come back sometime,” Awinita said. “Maybe when we get the TARDIS working, we can go back to the first day it opened,” Rose said. “Rose Tyler, that’s a fantastic idea. We’ll definitely have to do that,” Alan said. He fed her a meatball. “Are we almost ready to leave?” Alan asked. “Yeah, but I think we should hit the gift shop one more time just in case anyone wants something,” she said. “Then we’ll go back to our room, gather up our stuff and check out. A couple of hours later, they had left the park and were back out on the interstate heading out of Florida. Rose was driving, Alan was sitting beside her and Awinita was in the back. Alan smiled as he fingered the stuffed Stitch Rose had gotten him. It was wearing his little orange spacesuit and had a blaster in his hand. “Bollocks, I hate the traffic around here,” Rose muttered. “How people can get in and out of Disney without going insane is beyond me.” “Don’t knock it, dear,” Alan said. “Remember I told you on New, New Earth they had the motorway sealed off and some people there had been in traffic for twenty five years or more.” “Ugh, I definitely would have torn my eyes out then,” Rose said. “Or I would have jumped to my death and just let the Macra have me. Those had to be the most patient people in the whole entire universe!” Alan chuckled. “You and me both, Starlight. Living in London is horrendous enough for me. I don’t fancy being in a cramped lorry on a motorway for a quarter of a century.” “Well, you’d think after ten years they would have thought something was wrong,” Rose said. “Denial is a powerful thing,” Alan replied. Rose's eyes drifted up to the top of the minivan when it began to vibrate. “Wind’s picking up now,” she said. “I think we got out of there at the right time. If we take turns driving, we’ll be out of Florida by the time it hits tomorrow.” Awinita tapped Alan’s shoulder. He looked around and saw her holding a bag of potato chips out to him. He smiled and reached in to grab a handful. He munched on them happily while he watched the cars in front of him. “Rose, you want some chips?” Awinita asked. Rose looked back. Awinita held the bag up far enough so she could reach in and get some. “Thanks,” she said. She set them on her leg and ate them while she drove. Alan looked around. “Toss me a Coke, would ya?” he asked. Awinita reached into a bag and handed him a 16 ounce bottle of Coke. “Thanks muchly,” he said, taking it. “Could you turn on the radio?” Awinita asked. “Unless Rose is gonna be bothered by it.” “No, I’m fine, I wanna hear the weather reports anyway,” she said, turning it on. Awinita held the chip bag out to Alan. He took a few more and munched while he listened to the music. He glanced over when the van rocked again. “Careful, Rose,” he said. “Just take your time so we don’t run off the road.” “I am, trust me,” she said. He looked at the windshield when he noticed a few raindrops hitting it. “You’re right, we did get outta there at the right time,” he said. “It’s starting to rain now.” Rose looked at the droplets and cursed softly. “Just as long as it doesn’t pour down while I’m trying to get outta here,” she said. “Has the Doctor ever been in a hurricane?” Awinita asked Alan. He munched on a chip while he thought that over. “Been in a monsoon in India. Been in a typhoon in Japan so I guess yes, since that would qualify as a hurricane. Been in two volcano eruptions, Krakatoa and Pompeii. Witnessed the San Francisco earthquake in 1906 from afar. Seen several tornadoes, Witnessed acid rain on Venus, Been in an ice storm on Felajoria Major. Hmmm, what else?” He munched on another chip. “Has he ever gotten hurt in any of the things you mentioned?” Awinita asked. “Um…not badly. An old tree nearly toppled onto him during the monsoon because he had been caught outdoors unawares when it started.” “When was that?” Rose asked. “Third life with Sarah Jane. She was in the TARDIS when it happened and he was going back towards it when the tree fell. He…um…heh, for the life of me I can’t think why he was outside in the first place. Probably exploring as usual. Other than that, he’s escaped everything else unscathed. Most of the time he had advanced warning of the event like San Francisco and Krakatoa so he was able to view it at a safe distance. Pompeii I already told you about but even then he came out of it with nary a scratch. The man has a charmed life, I must admit.” “I’ll say,” Rose said. “Half the time I couldn’t suss out how we managed to survive the scrapes we’d get into and I’d only been traveling with him for two years, never mind 1200 years.” She cursed when the rain started pouring down and she turned on the windshield wipers. “If this gets bad, we might have to pull off so keep your eyes open for a lay-by, yeah?” she said to them. She turned up the radio when the weather report came on. “Hurricane Charlene is expected to make landfall tomorrow at 9 a.m.,” the weatherman said. “There is a wind advisory tonight for south and central Florida along with a flood warning for the coastal areas. So be careful, all you who are out on the roads tonight.” “Wonderful, just wonderful,” Rose said. “Maybe we should have just gave MGM a miss and got the hell outta here this mornin’” “I’m sorry, Rose, if I was the reason you didn’t leave,” Alan said, sadly. “It’s not you, Alan. I wanted to stay too. Don’t start blamin’ yourself for this, alright? We’ll make it outta here. Like you said, I just have to take my time and not worry that there’s a big bleedin’ hurricane closing in behind us.” She gasped when the driver in front of her slammed on his brakes. All three of them gritted their teeth when she stopped inches from his back fender. “Damn it!” Rose cursed as her heart raced in her chest. The car started again and Rose slowly followed him, going slow enough that there was a considerable distance between the two cars. As she drove, the rain lashed down onto the windshield and the car rocked, terrifying her even more. She normally hated driving on the motorway and normally she was anxious enough without trying to drive through wind and rain. She took deep breaths trying to calm her rapidly beating heart. “It’s alright, Rose, you’re doing fine.” She glanced over and noticed Alan staring at her with concern in his eyes. She realized that the reflection from the headlights behind her had allowed him to see how scared she was. “Just take your time, Rose,” he said, gently. “We’ll get through this.” He put his hand on her shoulder and Rose relaxed a bit more. “I just hate driving through traffic like this and the wind and the rain are not helping any,” she said to him. “I know, but you’ve handled worse than this before. I trust you,” he said. “I do too,” Awinita added. She smiled. “Thanks, guys. I…” She gasped and cursed when the car in front of her stopped again. She waited for him to go but there was no movement from anyone. “Great, now we’re stuck here,” she said. “Can I have a sip of your Coke, Alan?” She thanked him when he passed it to her and took a swig. Alan feigned disgust when he handed it back to her and made a big show of wiping her saliva off the rim with his shirt. Rose rolled her eyes while Awinita laughed. “My germs aren’t gonna kill ya, smart ass,” she said. Alan smiled when he heard her giggle and saw her relax a bit. “You did that just to get a giggle outta me, didn’t ya?” Rose said. “Yes, I figured it would help relieve your tension a bit,” he said. Rose looked at him fondly and stroked his cheek a moment. “Thanks, Alan, I needed that,” she said. “No problemo,” he replied. “Anything that calms you down and makes you happy is a-okay in my book.” “Can I ask you a question, Alan?” Awinita asked, leaning up towards him. “Sure.” She smiled. “Why is it that I can’t find any decent men to date on planet Earth? Will I have to go find myself an alien before I find someone as wonderful and loving as you?” Rose grinned when Alan turned redder than the car’s taillights in front of them. “I’m serious,” Awinita said. “Rose, you are the luckiest woman I know. I have never had a man treat me the way he treats you. And not only that, you’ve had two of them treat you this way. You need to keep him a secret because I’m sure other women will want to snatch him away from you.” “Oh, he’s not going anywhere, trust me,” Rose said. “I will be holding on to him with both hands if that’s what it takes.” “Am I to understand that I’ll be wearing a collar and leash then?” “Um…probably,” Rose said, giggling with Awinita. “So, I’m the perfect man, am I?” Alan said to Awinita. “You are in my book. I’m serious; most of the men I’ve dated were inconsiderate jerks that only cared about themselves. I’ve never had any of them treat me the way you treat Rose. All the doting you do on her is so wonderful. If you’re looking for a job then why don’t you do lecture tours and go around the world teaching men how to treat women?” “Oh, I agree with you completely on that. I would love for someone like Alan to go and teach men how to act. I had some jerk boyfriends in my life too so I know how you feel.” She smiled when the traffic in front of her finally moved and groaned when it was only for a few feet. “Thirty yards, we’re having a good day,” Alan said. Rose frowned. “Huh?” He chuckled. “Brannigan the cat said that on New Earth when he was able to move his van a bit,” he explained. “You know, the one that was stuck in the car who should have been tearing his eyes out in an insane rage?” “I’m almost there now,” Rose muttered. There was more movement ahead of her and Rose eased her way up. She took another sip of Alan’s Coke and took a few more chips from Awinita. “At least we have food in here,” she said after swallowing the chips. “I don’t know how long it’ll be until we can find a restaurant so it’s nice to have the crisps and the Coke.” “Six months,” Alan said. “Huh?” Rose said. “The next exit’s in six months.” She chuckled. “Quoting Brannigan again?” “Yup.” “What are you guys talking about?” Awinita said. “I mean, if we’re stuck in traffic you might as well fill me in.” Alan told her while Rose slowly worked her way down the interstate. “Jesus,” she said when he finished. “Yeah, I agree with Rose. I would have just thrown myself to the Macra things and be done with it. It’s sad that Face of Boe person had to die though. Imagine, the poor guy having to keep the city running for all those years so those people would stay alive.” Alan nodded. He hesitated a moment. “Rose, there’s something I haven’t told you about the Face of Boe,” he said. Rose glanced at him. “Yeah?” “Well, I didn’t say this at first because I still find it hard to believe and I don’t know for sure if there is a connection but…um…after the Doctor defeated the Master and he burned his body, he took Jack back to Cardiff and they were having a conversation and Jack was wondering what he was gonna look like in a million years and the Doctor told him he didn’t know. Well, he told him that back on the Boeshane Peninsula, he was the first one to be signed up for the Time Agency and he was the poster boy for them and he was called…” He leaned in. “The Face of Boe,” he said. Rose choked on a chip in her mouth. She turned her head and stared at him in shock. “No way,” she said. “No, no way that was Jack! That could not have been Jack!” Alan shrugged. “Supposedly, the Face of Boe had lived for millions of years when the Doctor met him.” “Yeah, but…that can’t be right. That couldn’t have been Jack. If it was Jack, why didn’t he say something to us?” Alan shrugged again. “Fear of messing up the timeline, maybe,” he said. “Maybe he knew it would have been a huge shock for us to see him like that.” “Yeah, but the Face of Boe had no body.” Alan chuckled. “Starlight, the human race is gonna take many forms in its continuing evolution. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that Jack evolved into a huge head over time.” “Jack, this is the guy you warned me about, right?” Awinita said. “The same.” “And he’s immortal and he’s eventually gonna become a monster, giganto head?” “Maybe, maybe not, I’m just telling you what I know. It might have just been a huge coincidence and we’re reading too much into this Face of Boe thing. But you never know. Life is a lot stranger than you imagine, Awinita.” “Yeah, I’m learning that the more time I spend with you guys.” Rose glanced over when she finally saw an off-ramp. “I’m getting off here. Let’s get something proper to eat and we’ll ask if there’s an alternate route out of here. I’m not fighting traffic with the rain and wind like this.” She eased off onto the off ramp and slowly went up the ramp behind several other cars.
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