SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW
Chapter Eighty Seven They found a Day’s Inn near the park and settled in for the night. Alan and Awinita sat down on the beds while Rose went into the bathroom. “Blimey, it’s gonna feel strange not havin’ Bill around tonight,” Alan said. “Yeah and I’m gonna miss sleeping on the air mattress,” Awinita said. “How was the air mattress?” Alan asked. “Um, it was kinda cold. I put a sheet over the top of it but that didn’t help much and it was lumpy too. It had ridges which I guess were to help your back but it was strange lying on it. It took me awhile to get to sleep. All I can say is I’m glad I’m back in a real bed tonight.” “Yeah, me too. I’m the same as Rose. I’m used to being in a room with the three of us. It was strange having others around.” “So, I suppose when you get back to London and get your own flat, it’ll be an adjustment not having me in the room with you,” Awinita said. “Yes, it will be.” He paused and smiled. “You said flat by the way instead of apartment.” “I know, I think I’m getting used to the way you guys speak. I love a lot of the words and expressions you use. I really should start using some of those terms so you guys don’t get confused. You know like saying crisps instead of chips.” “Nah, we know what you mean when you say chips. We’re getting used to Americanese now. You don’t have to change the way you talk to accommodate us. We’re clever enough to cotton on to your meaning.” She smiled. “See, like that, cotton on. I like that. And gobsmacked. That’s a cool word too. It’s fun to say.” He nodded. “And chuffed. That’s another neat word,” Alan said. “What does that mean?” “Thrilled, pleased. As in…I’m chuffed that you’re traveling with us.” “Cool. I really need to learn all these words anyway if I’m coming back to London with you guys so I’m not standing around scratching my head and being confused.” “Well, stick with us and keep your ears open and you’ll be speaking like a native in no time.” “Hey guys?” Rose said, walking out of the bathroom. “Yes?” they said in unison. She paused. “I know Alan’s answer to this so I’ll ask you,” she said to Awinita. “Are you hungry?” “A little. The popcorn filled me up a bit but if you guys want to eat I could eat something too.” “Well when I researched stuff to do here I was looking at restaurants that were downtown and there’s this Italian restaurant that got good reviews called Bocca di Beppo. You guys feel like eating Italian?” “I wouldn’t mind,” Awinita said. “Me neither.” “Well, I have the directions and I was gonna ask the guy at the front desk to tell us where it is so if you guys wanna get ready we can get out of this boring room and do something else before we call it a night.” Alan looked at her. “Ladies first,” he said. A half hour later, they were setting down at a large wooden table in the crowded restaurant. The lights were dimmed giving the room a cozy feel and there were various Italian themed posters, flags and objects hanging on the white stucco walls. “Like an Italian Applebees,” Awinita said, looking at everything. They studied the menus. “All these dinners are for two people or more, yeah?” Rose said. “So we have to decide on a couple of things and then share.” “I’d like some spaghetti,” Alan said. Rose nodded. “Okay, each one of us order something for the group and whatever’s left over, we’ll take with us,” she said. “You guys like ravioli?” Awinita said. They nodded. “Okay, I’ll get the ravioli then.” Rose studied the menu. “Hmmm, I’ll get the lasagna, that okay with everyone?” They nodded. “Okay, so we’ll get the spaghetti, ravioli and lasagna and I’ll order some salad and breadsticks.” “Then we’ll watch while Alan wolfs it all down in two big bites.” They giggled when Alan nodded rapidly. The waiter came to the table. They ordered the meals along with three Cokes. They relaxed when he went away. “Rose, dear, you heard that Awinita is trying to speak like us so you and I will have to start teaching her British phrases,” he said. “Yeah, I heard Alan giving you a little lesson. It’s wonderful that you wanna learn the slang words and expressions.” She shrugged. “Well, like I told Alan, I’m gonna be going back and living with you, I better know some stuff so I know what people are talking about.” “We oughta start giving her a word a day and make her use in a sentence,” Alan said. “Go right ahead, I’m eager to learn,” she said. “Brilliant, well then, chuffed was your word for today,” he said. “Okay, I’m chuffed that you guys let me come with you and see all the wonderful sights, how’s that?” Alan gave her a thumbs up. “In return, I could give you a few phrases that we use…or at least, my family uses,” she said. Alan’s eyes widened. “Cherokee phrases?” he said. “Yeah, but also just little southern expressions you might like,” she said. “Brilliant, a cultural exchange,” Alan said. “Okay, we gave you a word, now give us one.” Awinita thought. “Hmmm, hang on, trying to think of words my relatives use that you might not know,” she said. She smiled. “Okay, got one, my grandmother used to say to us when our fly was down to close the barn door before the cow gets out.” Alan laughed. “I love that!” he said. He looked at Rose and pointed at her pants. “Rose, close the barn door before the cow gets out!” They laughed. “Good,” Awinita said, patting his back. “Do you have another one?” Alan asked. She thought. “Hmm, I’ve heard people say that if someone is honest, they’re all wool and a yard wide,” she said. “That’s brilliant too. Yup, Rose is definitely all wool and a yard wide then.” “Thanks, Alan,” Rose said. The waiter came back with their Cokes, they thanked him and after inquiring if everything was alright, he left. “So…”Alan said. “If that’s the slang in North Carolina, how come we’ve never heard you say it?” Awinita rolled her eyes. “Because when I moved to New York I got tired of people pokin’ fun at me or not understanding what I was saying, so I made a conscious decision to drop some of the more folksy expressions and fit in. Um…for instance, a lot of people in North Carolina say carry instead of drive as in; I’ll carry you to your house. I used to say that too until I got to New York and got sick of people asking me why I was gonna carry someone all the way to their house. Which is why I’d like to learn British slang so I’m not asking idiotic questions like that whenever someone talks to me. But I guess if you’re going to take me home for Christmas, I better school you guys on North Carolina slang because my relatives still talk like that.” “That’s sad that you got laughed at for the way you speak,” Rose said. “I’m sure people in New York have odd expressions too.” “Well, to a lot of people I was the hick, hillbilly mountain girl,” she said. “Not just the slang, but my accent too.” “But I love your accent, it’s pretty,” Rose said. Awinita snorted. “Not to people in New York.” “Well, don’t feel bad. We’ve been around some Americans who looked down on us because we’re supposedly pompous, stuck up Brits,” Rose said. “So, you’re not the only one that has to deal with a stereotype.” “We’re not gonna make fun of you or your family for the way you talk,” Alan said. “We’re not like that.” She smiled. “I know you’re not which is why I like you guys so much. You’re both accepting of others no matter who they are.” “Well, traveling in time and space you have to be that way,” Rose said. “You really have to have an open mind when you’re meeting all these different aliens.” “I can understand that,” she said, nodding. She looked at Alan. “How about you? You speak like a British person but is there any slang terms that Gallifreyans used?” Alan thought. “To be honest, no. Gallifreyans were very logical and direct about everything. There weren’t all these colorful metaphors that they threw around, everything was said with a literal meaning. Earthlings have more imagination than Gallifreyans. You lot are able to think more abstractly and come up with slang terms. The Doctor began to speak Earth slang when he started visiting here but it took him awhile to get used to it since it was a new phenomenon for him. But trust me, you would never hear a Time Lord telling another Time Lord to close the barn door before the cow got out because then they would have run off in search of a barn…if they’d been able to figure out what a barn and a cow was, that is.” “No wonder the Doctor left and went travelin’. Sounds pretty boring to me,” Awinita said. “Was there any sort of humor or joking around there?” “Oh yeah, there were jokes and things of that nature. They weren’t completely mirthless. There was fun and laughter on Gallifrey.” “Really? Tell a Gallifreyan joke then,” Awinita said. Alan grinned. “Okay…here’s a riddle for ya. What goes bang, thump, bang, thump, bang, thump, bang, thump, bang, thump, bang, thump, bang, thump, bang, thump, bang, thump, bang, thump, bang, thump, bang, thump?” “I don’t know, what?” “A Time Lord committing suicide.” Rose giggled at that. “I’m sorry, I don’t get that.” “Time Lords can regenerate.” “I get that, what’s with all the bang, thumps?” “Time Lords can regenerate twelve times and have thirteen lives. So if they’re going to commit suicide and they’re on their first life, they have to shoot themselves twelve more times.” “Oh! Okay!” she said as Rose laughed. “Okay, like I said, I got the regeneration part but I didn’t know you got thirteen lives.” She frowned. “The Doctor’s on his tenth life, right?” “Yes.” “And if you use the chameleon arch thing, you’ll get these lives back?” “Yes.” “Okay, so will you automatically be on your tenth life like the Doctor or on your first life?” Alan frowned. “Um…I’m not really sure. That’s a good point,” he said. “Blimey, I didn’t even think of that.” “Well, we could always shoot you and take a count,” Awinita said. Rose laughed when he eyed her. “No, thanks, I’ll pass on that if you don’t mind,” he said, a grin spreading over his face. They looked over when the waiter brought their food and plates to their table. Alan salivated when he saw the large plates heaped with pasta. “Oh yes, another brilliant idea, Rose,” he said when the waiter walked away. Awinita noticed the hungry look on his face. “Um, I think we better get our food first, Rose, before hungry boy takes it.” “You think that’s wise? He may accidentally eat our hands along with the food.” “Tee hee,” Alan said when they snickered. They grabbed the large silver serving spoons and put a little bit of each pasta on their plates along with the breadsticks and salad. They took a bite of each thing. “Oooh, this is excellent!” Alan said. “Best pasta I’ve ever had!” “Mmmm, I agree,” Rose said. Alan stabbed a meatball with his fork and fed it to Rose. “We oughta make a note of all these places so we can all come back to them just like you and the Doctor did with all the chippies you went to.” “Chippies?” “Fish and chip shops,” Alan explained. “That’s another thing we have to take you to when we get back. You need to try some good fish and chips.” “I’ll try anything just as long as it isn’t a penis restaurant.” Rose paused in mid-chew while Alan shook his head. “Schtoom,” he muttered to her. “What’s this about a penis restaurant?” Rose said, looking directly at Alan. Alan shifted in his seat. “Just something I found in the China guidebook,” he said. “I was just trying to plan ahead so we’ll have things to do when we get there.” “Uh-huh and when was I gonna hear about this? When we were through the front door of the restaurant?” “Oh come on, Rose, it’s an adventurous thing to do.” “They also have deer fetuses,” Awinita said to her. Rose made a face. “You can go to the penis restaurant by yourself then. I’ll be back in our hotel room or wherever we’ll be stayin’ eating regular food.” “Aw, Rose, don’t do that. Be daring.” “I can be daring without doing that. I’ll be giving that a miss, thanks.” “Aw, you’re not fun.” “I’m sorry, I’ll try different things while I’m there but I draw the line at eating another creature’s cock. If Awinita wants to do it then have at it. I’m not interested.” “But you will try other things?” “I’ll try different foods, yes. But that’s disgusting and I’m not gonna do it just to say I’ve done it. You want to do it, fine. Just don’t expect me to do it with ya.” He shrugged. “Eh, it was just a thought,” he said. “How about starfish or seahorse on a stick?” “I might try those,” she said. “Is that alright?” “Very.” “Okay, now let’s drop the subject while we’re eating, shall we?” They nodded and switched to a different topic while the three of them finished their meal.
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