TIME LORDS DON'T CRY

CHAPTER TWELVE

The Doctor stood with hands clenched, head bowed. Pain etched itself on his features. It was an old and ancient pain, from so far back in his past, he’d thought he’s rid himself of it.

“Nine hundred years,” he whispered bitterly, “nine hundred years, and still I can’t escape it.”

Swallowing hard, the Doctor looked as if he was going to be ill. A full range of emotions rippling through him: shame, hurt, loneliness, sorrow, confusion, and the worst of all, fear. He’d thought, after all these years of traveling and trying to save the universe from itself, he’d run away from a part of his past he’d been content to pretend had never happened.

Yet, the darkness came back to the Doctor, right in that moment, right in his face when he’d least expected it. He felt sick inside himself, like he’d felt….like he’d felt when he’d lost Rose–only ten times worse.

Marie had curled up into a ball on the sofa, a resigned, faraway look upon her face.

“I’m sorry mister”, she whispered, “I didn’t know.”

Turning slowly, the Doctor looked at Marie. He at last understood the familiar sensations he got when he was near her. She was very much like he’d been once, still was, in many ways. Sighing deeply, the Doctor closed his eyes. He stood immobile, breathing slowly, fighting to get his wildly fluctuating emotions back under control.

“It’s alright, Marie.” the Doctor said softly. He crossed to the sofa, knelt down and stroked her hair. He winced when he saw her flinch at his touch. The Doctor’s eyes grew even more sad, when he realized that he was passing on his pain to this innocent girl, whom in the end, really had nothing to do with what had happened to him.

“I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. Everything is alright, you didn’t do anything wrong, I promise. It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault.”

Giving a long, tired sigh, the Doctor looked out the windows at the night. Shadows played across the windows, as the moon painted an ever-changing pattern of dark and light, with the wind-tossed branches of the pines outside. Somewhere in the inner recesses of the farmhouse, was the soft, steady, heartbeat like ticking of a grandfather clock.

A sister, he had a sister. Well, half-sister. Half-human, half Time Lord. He knew the story, a story of disgrace, denial and rigid Time Lord pride. He’d been led to believe that all the ‘evidence’ had been destroyed. But, leave it up to a wiley Time Lady, to find away to hide this girl’s true inheritance. If a Time Lord could become human, then certainly they could find a way to make a half-Galifreyan child all human….but, with just a trace of Time Lord biology, tucked somewhere inside.

Giving a resigned shrug, a slight smile tugged at the corner of the Doctor’s mouth. He supposed that if he could live through losing his planet, losing Rose and other companions, then he could get through this as well.

Making a firm decision, the Doctor reburied his pain deep inside his mind. Then, he smiled warmly, and turned and held out his hand to Marie.

“Come on then sweetheart, come over here and give your big brother a hug, eh?”

Quietly the Doctor held the young girl, as she softly wept into his shoulder.

A few minutes later, the Doctor and Marie were once again seated on the sofa. After a while Marie had gone back in the kitchen and put more hot water on for tea. The Doctor was wondering where on earth Uncle Tobias had got himself to.

“They don’t like the light Doctor,” Marie called from the kitchen after she had refilled the Doctor’s tea cup, “it’s when the moon is gone that he comes out of his room. I hide. He doesn’t know about the tunnel. I found it by accident.”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow and took a sip of hot sweet tea.

“A tunnel? Oooh-sounds very mysterious. Marie,” he asked, “you mentioned something about the light before, that it seems to bother your Uncle Tobias and his mates. Seems to me,” he pondered, “that there are only just so many creatures who’ll fit that description.”

“Like who?” Marie asked, as she came back into the living room, and sat down beside the Doctor.

“Well…” The Doctor said expansively, “There’s vampires for one. And there’s the shadow creatures, and let’s see…Oh, there’s about a few hundred more that I can think of. Not very many at all, in the scope of the universe. Let me think.”

Cocking his head at her, the Doctor looked at Marie intently.

“So, What do we know, so far, ey?” He asked.

Marie bit her lip, and stared at the floor, marshalling her thoughts.

“Ummm–they don’t like light, they kill people and animals too, I think. I’ve seen the blood, from the animals I mean, but the bodies disappear. First it was the chickens, then the goat, then, today, the cows and…and…”

She looked away and tried to hide her hurt at the loss of Chauncy.

The Doctor felt her hurt–not just imagined it, but truly felt it. Inside himself, and he wasn’t sure how to take that. Normally, he had to physically touch another being to get inside their minds and emotions. But, not with Marie. Just being close to her, he could actually feel her emotions welling up inside him. It was very disconcerting. And, it was also breaking his hearts.

Hesitating only a fraction of a second, the Doctor reached over and hugged her again.

“I know it hurts, really I do. And, believe me, I’d do anything to take away your pain.”

“I know.” Marie said simply. Giving him a brief smile, she squeezed his hands. “I can feel your hurt too. And I wish I could stop your pain, Doctor.”

This was getting all a bit emotionally top-heavy for the Doctor. Drawing back and looked thoughtfully at her.

“Hang about, what was that you said before, about a tunnel?”

“I found it, one time, when I was moving the old ice box in the corner of the kitchen.” Marie shrugged. “I’d dropped a recipe card behind it. There was a trap door underneath it. I think it is very old. I remember my teacher at school once, talking about the Underground Railroad being around here. That’s when they hid slaves running away to Canada, back before the Civil War. Maybe it’s from then. I don’t know.”

Without warning, one of the dogs began barking, followed by the other two. Then, they all three yelped in terror, and were suddenly silenced. The Doctor got up swiftly and crossed to the window. The sky was black as pitch. The moon had gone in.

“Ah.” he whispered to Marie, “I think your Uncle Tobias has come home.”

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