BOOMSTICKS AND HOROCRUXES
Hello, fans of randomness, I hope you all missed this story. I really don't know what to say, so...
enjoy.
Before heading for the first horocruxes, they needed to make a quick stop at Hogwarts. "Why do we need a freakin' sword to find the freakin' horocruxes?" asked Ash. "I don't know, but Dumbledor said it would come in handy," said Harry, who had been questioning Dumbledor's judgement lately. As they walked Buffy and Jack were deep in conversation.
"Why didn't you just use a cross on him?" Asked Buffy. "Aku was not a vampire, he was a demon!" was the answer. "Vampires are demons!" said Buffy. "Vampires are not demons," said Jack "though they are evil," Buffy thought on this. "I would have whipped Aku's ass!" she proclaimed. Jack laughed "I do not doubt that you are a skilled warrior," he said "But without this sword, you would be no match for Aku." Buffy took this as an insult "Just because your nothing without your sword," she said "doesn't mean I'm not!" Jack started to get pissed "Well at least my powers come from training, and not from some curse in my blood!" And the conversation soon went from talking to bickering.
They soon reached Hogwarts, and were greeted by Hagrid, who was happy to see Harry. "Hello, Harry," the very large man said. "Hello Hadgrid, how's Grawp?" Hagrid paused, and looked kinda depressed. "Oh, he misses you Harry, and he won't do much without ya," said the half-giant. "I've also been trying to poddy train him,"
Flashback
Grawp was in Hagrids shack, and Hagrid was trying to lead him to a toilet. "Come on," he said, "I'm tired a changin' yer diapers, it's time to use the big boy poddy," The half-giant was pointing to a giant toilet in his shack. "First you need to take off the diaper," said Hagrid; Grawp complied after staring from Hagrid to the diaper, and back to Hagrid. "Good, you've already completed the first step," said Hagrid. "Now look at the poddy, and lift the seat up," again, Grawp complied, though he was trying to hold it badly. "Now you can figure out the rest..." Grawp looked from the toilet, to Hagrid, then back to the toilet, then back to Hagrid...
And Hagrid was blown through the wall by a pressurized spray of yellow water. "Well, back to the drawing board..." he said.
End of Flashback
"I haven't had much luck though," was all Hagrid said. "Well, if he's depressed, I guess we could visit him on our way back," said Hermione. Hagrid suddenly looked as if he had a brilliant idea. "Say, Harry, I know you got alot on yer hands with the prophesy an all but could you maybe..." he looked around "Harry? Harry..." He turned to see Harry was running faster than he'd ever seen a human being run, heading for Hogwarts. "Must be in a hurry," the half-giant said. "Say, Hermione, could you be a friend and..." Hermione answered before he could finish the question. "Uh... We have important business with McGonigal right now, but I'm sure one our friends can help you out..." and ran off. Ron was right behind her. "Great to see you Hagrid," he said as fast as he could. Dobby wanted to help, but Hagrid told him that Harry probably needed him more. He was in luck though, for someone finally offered to help. "Is it dangerous,"was "Yes," said Hagrid. "Small chance of survival," was the next."Yes," there was one more question. "Will it involve explosives?" Hagrid sighed "I hope not, but you never know," Ash smiled "Mission accepted." he said, then asked "What's the mission?"
Harry headed up to the headmaster's office, and guessed the password easily: "Cats are cool," The gargoyle slid to the side. He walked right in. "How dare you come in here to auction off my...er... his things!" said McGonigal, not recognizing Harry at first. "Oh, Harry...um...good to see you...in my office...that I've already redecorated..." Harry looked around, and noticed that the place was covered with HelloKitty stuff, Garfield comic strips, and posters with pictures of cats with catchy frases...the horror, the horror!!
Harry decided to cut to the chase: "I'm here for the sword of Gryffandor," He was hoping she would just hand it to him so he could get as far away from McGonigle's horrible decorations as he could, but this was not the case. "Well you can't have it," she said, "because it's mine, all mine!" she smiled "because I am Bella...I mean McGonigle, not a deatheater in disguise, so sir!" Harry realized that the former transfiguration teacher was acting a bit out of character. "Everything that was in here is now mine according to the will, so get out!" Harry pulled out his wand, and hexed the imposter before she could reach down. Using the same spell that Sirius had used on Peter, Harry turned the phony McGongle back into Bellatrix Lastrange. "The only thing that Dumbledore left the professor was his office...and his furniture...and Faux...and photographs of some sort, though the will didn't specify what was in them..." Harry looked thoughtful for a minute "...but anyway, your not McGonigle, so he didn't leave you a damned thing; Stupify!" she dropped to the floor, unconcious. "That one was for Sirius!" Harry noticed the sword of Gryffindor lying on the desk, and picked it up. He sheathed it and walked up to a cabinet, and opened up a cupboard, where he found McGonigle tied to a chair.
Jack, Shawn, Buffy and Dobby were having a bit of a disagreement with Peeves: he thought it was easy to dump slime on them...and they disagreed. The creature had also taken Jack's cellphone, which was specially made to work in magical areas. "Be gone demon!" Jack yelled, taking a swing at the poltergiest with his sword. "Muggles with dresses can't catch Peeves!" The annoying spirit of being a pain in the ass mooned Jack and stuck his tounge out at him. "Very well, I guess there is nothing I can do," said Jack, who now had a brilliant idea. "You are trully a worthy opponent!" Peeves was happy. "Perhaps we should order some pizza to celebrate!" Peeves had had pizza before, but had no idea how to use the cellphone, so he handed it to Jack, who dialed the neccessary phone number. "They are on the way," said Jack, "They said to wait outside...how will we divide the pizza?" Peeves gave his usual answer: "I get one have, you give me the other half!" and flew off.
He then several men in strange suits getting out of the van. "Where's the pizza?" asked Peeves. The men merely zapped him and put him into a little box. Jack came out and paid the Ghostbusters for removing the pest. He then asked if he could keep the ghost, without letting it out of the container.
The whole gang except for Ash met at the front gate. Aurors ran into the school; drawing their wands as they ran. "What was that all about?" asked Hermione, as they met Harry. "Well, Bellatrix was impersonating McGonigle using a polyjuice potion, so I stunned her and called the Ministry. " Harry said. "We should probably leave before the Minister gets here to try to convince me to tell the wizarding world that they have things under control..." at that moment, Rufus Scrimgeor appeared out of nowhere with a loud pop. "Harry, just the person I was hoping to see!" said Rufus, not noticing the large amount of prophanity that Harry was muttering under his breath. "I hope you have changed your mind since two days ago, since you were stricken with grief and probably blamed the Ministry for Dumbledore's death; now I hope you will see the logic of helping the ministry..." Harry cut him off "Nope, I'm still Dumbledore's man through and through, and I'm kind of busy fighting Voldemort for you, so come back after I've killed Voldemort, and we'll talk!" As he tried to walk away, however, he was surrounded by aurors with wands! "I hope that you will forgive me for taking such harsh measures, but if you do not see the logical since in trusting the Ministry to do it's job, then you will have to be made to!"
"You should talk about common sense," said Jack, who was now right behind Scrimgeor. "When you are clearly at a tactical disadvantage," Jack calmly put his sword to the Minister's neck. The aurors pointed their wands to the Samurai, Buffy pointed her crossbow at one of the aurors, Shawn did the same with his Winchester, and Ron and Hermione drew their wands. Even Dobby was prepared to kick some ass. "You've brought muggles to Hogwarts!" exclaimed Scrimgeor. "Actually, all of them have special cases that allow them to know about our world, and you aren't in a position to accuse me of anything, since you aren't much worse than a petty dictator!" said Harry. "You even got Dolores Dumbitch out of a life sentence to Azkaban after she admited to sending a dementor to kill me!" Umbridge, who happened to be among the so called aurors looked pissed "You shouldn't call people names behind their back, Mr. Potter!" Harry looked at her "Sorry, Dumbitch, is this better: you're a dumb bitch!"
The large cow like woman pointed her wand at Harry, but he whipped out his wand and had her puking slugs in three seconds. This took the fat woman's wand away from Buffy, who knocked out the man in front of her. This caused a chain reaction, in which all the aurors were either disarmed, or unconcious. "Harry Potter, you have led an attack against the ministry, I'll have your wand for this!" Harry just smirked "You can try to take my wand, but will anyone help you if they knew that you were using taxpayers' money to re-unite the Spice Girls?" Scrimgeor looked at Harry in horror, wondering how the boy had discovered his obsession. "Dumbledore had some friends in the ministry, and they had some dirt on you," said Harry. "I also don't think you'd have much of a second term if they knew how you spent your evenings!" Scrimgeor's eyes went wide. "How did you know all this?" he asked "There's no way that you could get a spy in my office without my knowing!"
Flashback
Scrimgeor was singing along to "I'm a Barbie Girl" while he was in his office, and didn't notice the House Elf right above him with a video camera, dressed in ninja gear. That will teach the mean minister to mess with Harry Potter! Dobby thought. a drop of sweat fell off Dobby's head and landed on Scrimgeor. The houseelf turned invisible as the man looked up. "Damn, the roof must be leaking again," said Scrimgeor, "Well, at least the water isn't yellow this time," Dobby then ate a cracker, and crumbs landed on Scrimgeor's head. The man scratched his head, and noticed the crumbs. "Must be dandrif," He said. Dobby then fell off the ceiling and landed on Scrimgeor's desk with a loud thud. "I must be hearing things again," he said. His secretary then walked in, and they were about to...lets just say polish the desk, when she stopped him for a minute. "Are you sure it's safe in here?" She asked. Scrimgeor laughed "It's not like some ninja houseelf is hiding in here with a videocamera so he can give all my secrets to Potter!"
End flashback
They left Scrimgeor where he was, and went to Hagrid's to pick up Ash. "Hey Ash, get over here, yer friends are leavin'!" Ash entered the cabin, soaking wet and covered in crap. He walked up to Harry, "I owe you..." he said "...and you..." he pointed to Ron and Hermione "...and especially you!" He walked up to Hagrid and pointed in his face. "I am not leaving until I get a shower!" exclaimed Ash. "Grawp is usin' the toilet at the moment," said Hagrid. "Wait, you finally poddy trained him?" asked Ron. "This man was the one that done it!" said Hagrid. "Why didn't I think of painting the toilet pink?" he said thoughtfully. Before they left, Harry noticed two Bruce Cambell shaped holes in the wall. Ash must have used trial and error for that one...
Ash was in a better mood after his shower. "Where to next?" he asked. "Well, we must first drop off this troublesome spirit in a place where he won't hurt anyone." said Jack, holding up the container that held Peeves. Ron smirked, "I know just the place..."
It was a slow day at the shop for Fred and George, and it had been very uneventful. They were happily suprised when Hedwig dropped a brown package onto their desk. They soon opened it to find a strange muggle device with a single red button. Fred pushed the button, and Peeves was freed. "Where is that damned samurai?" asked the enraged spirit. Peeves was delighted upon seeing the faces of his two favorite Hogwarts students. He told them his tale of woe, which made them laugh. "We'll have to meet this Jack fellow,"
I hope you like this chapter, I will update soon. What did you think of Ash's mission?R&R
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