MY SKIN

"There, there fireworks all gone" Mrs Harkness said comfortingly as she patted Alice's back and held her close. "Nothing to be scared off now"

Suddenly the door shot open and Jack staggered in looking breathless. As if he had been running all the way from the park which he probably had, her son was rather dramatic when he wanted to be.

"What happened? Is she ok? Did someone try to hurt my baby?" Jack said loudly causing Alice to start crying again, Mrs Harkness sighed as Jack scooped Alice up into his arms. "There, there princess, Daddy is here now. He'll keep all the nasty noises and mean monsters away from you"

"Dada" Alice sniffled clinging to Jack while Mrs Harkness rolled her eyes reframing for pointing out that he was the one that made her cry.

"Would my little princess want to sleep with Daddy tonight so he can keep the mean monsters away from you?" Jack suggested softly. Alice nodded and clung tighter to Jack who bent down and kissed her forehead. "Come on then it's far too late for you to be sitting up, what was Granny thinking hmm?"

Mrs Harkness was wondering if she dropped Jack one time too many as a baby.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

Tosh entered the cold and dark flat, sighing as she noticed her mother's room to be empty as well. Once again her mother was too busy working; she probably fell asleep on her desk again and wouldn't be home till tomorrow night. Flicking the lights on and starting the kettle for once last cup of tea Tosh made her way towards the answer machine, hoping her mother left a message.

"You have two messages" the electronic voice said. "Message one"

BEEP!

"Toshiko-Chan, I am afraid I have to work overtime. There is a project due in soon and most of the staff has gone home for a celebration night. Help yourself to whatever is left in the freezer and get to bed on time. I am sorry for not being there maybe tomorrow I can leave early to make dinner. Goodnight Toshiko-Chan"

"Message two"

BEEP!

"Toshiko? It's Dr Smith, I'm calling on an important matter...i don't know if I should say this to the machine but you should know. Its Mary...she died about 45 minutes ago, heart attack. It was the fireworks they scared her and her heart was too weak...I'm so sorry Toshiko..."

"No" Tosh whispered shaking her head. "No...No...No...NO!" she screamed falling to the floor clutching her head, trembling as she sobbed. "Mary, no you can't be!"

Mary can't be dead. Mary should be getting better, Dr Smith and the nurses were making sure she was eating...right? Mary was on her way to reaching normal weight, Dr Smith said so himself last week...

"No...Not Mary" Tosh whispered.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

"Last night was fun, wasn't it?" Andy chirped cheerfully as he bounced along the corridor. "Those sparklers were hilarious, the fireworks were good and we also had Ianto's super brilliant coffee"

"Yeah it was great" Gwen and Owen mumbled not really listening.

Jack just grinned and Ianto blushed and refused to say anything. "What the hell is wrong with you two?" Andy complained. "Both of you look like your dog just died or something...oh god your dogs didn't die did they?"

"No you blonde twerp" Owen snarled. "I'm just trying to prevent myself from committing homicide because you're annoying chirpiness is bugging me"

Gwen smacked Owen's arm. "Don't be mean to him, he's trying to lighten the mood" she shouted, she turned to Andy with a fake smile. "Nothing to worry about hon, I just had a rough night sleeping"

Jack draped an arm round Owen. "What's up with you grumpy guts...ooh I think I know! Is it Tosh? Our beautiful delicate Toshiko isn't here and you feel lonely without her. You miss her! You looooooooooooooooooove her! You wanna be with her don't you Owen?"

Owen elbowed Jack in the ribs causing him to double over. "Oh piss off Jack" Owen growled before marching off.

Owen gritted his teeth and clenched his fist trying to not let what Jack said get to him...he didn't love Toshiko Sato...but he did miss her.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

Owen ran up the stairs. He had been on the Children's Ward, helping the nurses give the children their medication and dinner when a pager went off asking for Owen to go to the psychiatric ward to report to Dr Smith. Tosh. It had to be about Tosh. Did she have a relapse? Did she get into an accident on her way home? His heart was beating heavily with worry and he was furious, wasn't Adam enough shit for this year?

He whirled round to the next staircase sharply and froze.

Tosh.

She was sitting near sobbing, her face buried in her hands and her whole body trembling with distress. He took a deep, slow breath and sat down beside her, putting an arm round her shoulder and pulling her close to him. She turned her face and cried into his shirt.

"M-M-M-M-Mary!"

He patted her on the back and held her tightly until she finally stopped crying. He then pulled out a tissues and handed it to her, pulling away to give her space to blow her nose and wipe her tears away.

"What happened to Mary?" he asked softly.

"Died...last night..." Tosh whispered.

"Oh Tosh I'm so sorry" Owen whispered.

Tosh shook her head. They sat there in silence for a while.

"It must be hard" Owen said finally. "To lose someone that had been with you through your roughest moment of life"

Tosh froze, her eyes widened. "What?" she whispered more to herself than Owen, she looked up at him. "You knew? About...about..."

"About your breakdown...yeah" Owen admitted not looking at her but at the floor.

"I see" Tosh said numbly standing up. "You were being nice out of pity"

"What?" Owen roared shooting up and towering over Tosh. "Are you bloody mental?"

"Yes I am!" Tosh shrieked. "You read my file haven't you?"

"No I bloody well haven't you mad cow" Owen snarled. "Dr Smith told me out of worry, he thought Adam would do you more damage than good and asked me to protect you"

"So you only saved me because you were asked to?"

"No I saved you because I care about you! Goddamnit Tosh you're smart, sweet, kind and beautiful. I don't deserve that in my life, I don't deserve you as my friend but I want to be there for you! I want to be able to look out for you like Jack looks out for me. I want your friendship"

Tosh stood there wide eyed and trembling. "I...I...I" she whispered, her hands clenching and unclenching trying to grasp hold of something, maybe a shred of logic. Anything. "I'm sorry, I can't do this right now" she blurted out before running down the stairs.

Owen ran after her. "TOSH! TOSH WAIT, PLEASE WAIT!"

She kept running and running. Out of the hospital and across the car park, Owen stopped at the door and watched her dodge people and cars as she ran so fast to get away from him.

To get away from him.

She didn't want to be near him.

Was it because he scared her? Or maybe it was because he was dirty with his own spitefulness that she was disgusted he would want to be friends with her...or maybe she didn't believe him and thought he was nothing but a liar who was friends with her out of pity.

He wasn't sure which option was the worst.

But he felt sick in the stomach knowing it was him that made her run in terror.

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