Pairings: Tosh/Owen, Janto, Gwen/Rhys

They stood there looking sceptical at the giant bamboo plant that stood in the middle of a crater. Earlier that evening they had all seen the meteor and for once managed to get to the crash site before the army. Never before had there been a plant instead of some sort of crater.

It was either very stupid or very alien.

"Oh for cripes sake it's just a tree!" Owen yelled after five minutes of pure silence. "Let's just put it in a pot and take it back to the Hub, so I can go out drinking"

Jack swatted Owen. "Idiot. It's an alien tree; remember the last time you were in contact with one? You were growing apples out of your ears for two weeks!"

Owen flushed a bright pink as Ianto and Gwen snickered at the memories. "They made a good apple crumble once I cleaned the ear wax off" Ianto said causing Gwen to screw her face up in disgust.

"That's disgusting!"

"Shh!" Jack hissed. "The tree is opening up"

True to Jack's word the large green leaves drooped to the floor as the slim thick green stem opened up. There lying in the heart of the plant was a small baby with a thick tuff of black hair.

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww it's so cute!" Jack squealed causing Owen to raise an eyebrow, Gwen to burst into giggles and Ianto to face-palm. Jack ran over to pick up the naked baby, holding her like a true father and with the delight written all over his face, you would have thought he was holding his first born. "It's a she! A pretty little girl! And she looks Japanese"

The baby opened her eyes and looked up at Jack. "Dada" she cooed holding a chubby hand up to him.

"She already knows who her Daddy is!" Jack cried out, tears forming in his eyes.

"God grief" Owen grumbled. "What an idiot"

Jack cuddled the baby tighter. "Yes, I'm your Daddy and I'm going to be the best Daddy in the whole world"

The baby ignored him as she reached out to Ianto. "Mama!" she cried.

Gwen fell to the floor in hysterical laughter and Owen was leaning on a tree trying to hide his snickers. Ianto stood there trying to keep his pride as Jack kept praising his 'precious little princess'.

This was going to be a long night.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

Three days later the baby was a toddler who had the knowledge of a six year old. Jack didn't seem bothered by the fact that his newly adopted daughter was super-intelligent; the only thing he had problems with was what to call her.

"I don't want to give her a boring name but then I don't want to give her a name that will get her bullied by everyone. Children can be very cruel, you know" Jack said leafing through a baby name book.

"How did Alice get her name?" Gwen asked remembering Jack's daughter from his last birthday party.

"Her mother named her. Apparently whatever I chose was the wrong one" Jack grumbled darkly.

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Only because you wanted to name her Princess Fluffy"

"Jack, you child abuser!" Owen yelped. "That's a dreadful name!"

"What? She was my little princess and had a ball of fluff on her head"

"Ianto should name the baby" Gwen decided snatching the baby book away from Jack. "You obviously lack the sensibility for such an important task"

Jack began whining while the baby crawled on to Ianto and held her arms out to him. Ianto looked thoughtful. "Toshiko" he said finally as he picked her up. "Her name is Toshiko"

"Why Toshiko?" Owen asked.

"Well for starters it's from Japan which is where she looks like she's from" Ianto said calmly as he checked Toshiko for bruises. "And it's also Japanese for child genius"

Owen snorted. "If I had a Jap baby I would have called her Sakura"

"And that is where you lack imagination and I do not" Ianto said calmly. "Isn't that right Toshiko?"

"Yes Mummy" Toshiko said timidly.

"Toshiko!" Jack cried out snatching her out of Ianto's arms and whirling her in the air. "That's perfect for my little princess! I shall call you Tosh for short! My beautiful Toshie!"

"Err Jack...i think the baby is going to hurl" Owen said.

Jack ignored him and continued to twirl Tosh round causing her to vomit all over him.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

Two weeks later Toshiko Harkness-Jones looked like she was eight years old and had the intelligence level of a seventeen year old. A seventeen year old without hormones and no understanding of romance. It was Gwen's day off and Jack and Ianto were stuck chasing rabid weevils round the city leaving Gwen and Rhys in charge of Tosh.

Gwen had decided to take Tosh to the park for a picnic and shortly discovered that Tosh didn't enjoy being in crowded places as she sat there stiffly on the swing.

"Hey sweetheart, what's up?" Gwen asked sitting next to her on the other swing.

"I don't quite understand the logic behind these contraptions" Tosh said calmly. Gwen blinked to make sure she was looking at a cute eight year old. Jack had deliberately dressed Tosh in a cute pink pinafore dress and long-sleeved flowery top with pigtails in her hair. She was the epitome of cuteness and yet sounded like thirty odd year old scientist. "What exactly is the point in going back and forth?"

"To have fun" Gwen said lightly pushing herself forward and backwards. "The whole point is that you have some fun"

"I think it would be more fun to go upside down as well" Tosh said with a slight frown.

"I'll take you to Alton Towers next week, if your Dad lets me" Gwen promised.

"Alton Towers?"

Gwen launched into a long description of the theme park and then had to explain the concept of theme parks to Tosh. While the girl was extremely intelligent in all things Maths, Sciences and every other school subject, she had yet to understand anything Human. She barely understood the concept of affection, something that Jack smothers her with daily.

"Hey, I got us hot dogs" Rhys said cheerfully passing a bun to Tosh and Gwen.

"Oh thanks" Gwen said giving Rhys a kiss on the lips. When they broke apart they realised Tosh was watching them with an intense thoughtful look. "What you're thinking Tosh?"

"I think that Maths is simpler than Human interaction"

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

"I hate you!"

Ianto had only just walked in when fourteen year old Tosh stormed out of the Hub, head held up high and a look of fury that rivalled Medusa's.

Jack looked like he was going to burst into tears. "Ianto, our baby hates me!" he wailed clinging to Ianto.

Ianto absently patted him on the back while silently wondered if it was possible to get divorce without being married first. "I doubt she hates you. She's just going through a tough stage of teenage hormones" he said calmly. "Tell me what happened"

"She...she...she wants to get a university degree! And move out of the Hub...and find some friends out of Torchwood" Jack sniffled.

"Doesn't sound too bad"

"Ianto! She's a baby! My little baby! She's not old enough to leave home and run off with some drunk!"

Ianto sighed. As usual Jack was being melodramatic. "Jack, she's a super-intelligent fourteen years old. The worst that could happen is that she comes back heartbroken and slightly disillusioned"

"Ianto, she may look fourteen but deep down she's still ten months old!"

Ianto felt a headache coming on.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

"Here"

Tosh looked up to see Owen Harper holding out a packet of tissues. The man barely spoke a word to her; in fact he had often tried to avoid her when she was younger. When she had cornered him to be taught medicine, it had been the only time he truly interacted with her. So it was a surprise to see him standing in front of her.

"Thank you" she murmured taking the tissues and using one to blow her nose.

"I saw what that kid did to you. It was harsh. If you like I could dissect him"

She smiled. "No thank you"

"Heard you had an argument with your Dad"

"Yeah, he just doesn't understand me"

Owen snorted. "You're a teenager kid; no one is supposed to understand you"

"It's...been difficult. Making friends. They think I'm a geek and not worth their time and here I thought people enjoyed having an intellectual conversation"

"Adults do, teenagers don't. They focus more on drink and sex"

"So you're a teenager too then?"

Owen spluttered. "You-You-You cheeky little monkey!"

She giggled. "Thank you Owen" she said shyly.

He ruffled her hair. "You're welcome kid"

Five minutes later she got Jack crying again with her loud declaration of being in love with Dr Owen Harper.

Ianto just silently wondered what happened to the taste he installed in Tosh.

Her crush on Owen must be Jack's doing.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

It was her first birthday and she looked twenty five. She was officially on the Torchwood Team and with her help they had saved the world ten times the past week. To celebrate Owen insisted on the pub though Jack protested saying a one year old should stick to ice cream and jelly.

Needles to say Tosh killed him for saying that.

It turned out Ianto had taught her how to use a gun.

So Tosh had gotten drunk rather quickly and while Jack was busy snogging Ianto, she took the advantage of a very drunk Owen. It was quick, very hot and brilliant. So they of course did it several more times before falling asleep at his flat.

Owen woke up to Jack threatening to kill him and Ianto giving Tosh a million hangover cures and morning after pills.

Tosh smiled at him brightly and he decided if Jack did kill him it was all worth it. "I wanted to do that with you since you gave me those tissues. I think I finally understand the concept of Human desire"

Jack started strangling Owen again.

TWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTWTW

It was a warm clear night and the Torchwood Team were standing on the roof of one of Jack's favourite towers. They were all confused as to why they were there since it was Tosh who invited them and not Jack.

Tosh looked beautiful in the moonlight. Her skin glowed and her eyes lit up brightly though her smile was sad.

"I am going back to my home planet" she said to them. "I was sent here by my biological parents as an attempt to become something better"

"What? You can't leave me! Please Toshie, you're my little girl" Jack pleaded.

"Dad, it is my duty as the Moon princess to take my throne"

"What?" everyone squawked.

"I love you all" Tosh said hugging Jack and Ianto. "You two were the best parents anyone can ask for" she then kissed Gwen on the cheek. "Goodbye Aunt Gwen, send my love to Uncle Rhys" she kissed Owen more fully on the lips. "I love you the most" she whispered.

Jack sniffled. "I can't believe my little girl is a princess"

"Hang on; the Moon is filled with craters! How can there be life there?" Gwen said as the thought suddenly struck her.

Tosh smiled mysteriously. "You would be surprised. Oh and Owen?"

"Yes?"

"I'll send Sakura over in the summer"

It took a moment for it all too sink in. Then Owen had to run as fast as possible to avoid Jack trying to kill him.