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Chapter 3: Waiting The tapping noise woke me up, and when I opened my eyes it was brighter but not very much. The rain falling on my window was what woke me up, and I wondered what time it was. Would daddy and momma be home? When I looked down on the floor my Jacob was gone, and I felt my bottom lip moving out. Momma calls that my pout. I do it when I’m sad. Jacob has to be with his pack, but I wish he could always be with me. It was time to get up, so I did that and before I got away from my bed, I grabbed Jack. Jack is a stuffed animal. He’s a wolf. Jacob got him for me, because I wanted him when we were at that little store near first beach in La Push. Jack isn’t as neat as Jacob, because he doesn’t do anything, but sometimes I talk to him when I’m sad. Downstairs the TV was on, but I was glad not to see something about sports on it. People were talking instead, so that meant it was the news. I went over to the sofa with Jack in my left arm. Grandpa was there with a book, but he put it down when I got to him. I let him pick me up, and snuggled next to him watching the TV for only a second. Sometimes I like talking, and sometimes I don’t. I reached out and put my hand on his neck, showing him momma and daddy. “Your Aunt Rose, and Uncle Emmett have gone to retrieve them from the airport, they won’t be long.” This time I showed him a memory of grandma. “She is with Jasper and Alice hunting. Are you hungry?” I shook my head, looking back at the TV as he gave me the control. I am better about being careful with it. I broke one because I pressed the buttons down too hard. The channels moved till I found what I wanted. It was a movie where people dance around and sing. Momma said they call them musicals. “South Pacific,” Grandpa said. I nodded. I like the movies where they dance and sing. Maybe when I get older I can dance, but I don’t know about singing because my voice isn’t normal, just like the rest of me. Thinking about that made me feel bad, and I hugged Jack closer before I remembered my Jacob. “Jacob had to help Sam with a few things. He promised to stop by and see you later today,” Grandpa answered, after I showed Jacob to him in my memory. When the movie got tiring, I left my grandpa and went back to my room. “You sit here,” I told Jack. When he was comfortable, back on my bed, I went to my closet and decided today I wanted to wear my ballet outfit. Aunt Alice is always getting me pretty clothes. Sometimes I like them. I put on the pink tights first, and after that the blue tutu, and the matching skirt. The last thing I got was my butterfly wings that Aunt Alice got for me too. “Jack you need hands,” I said, not really wanting to go back downstairs. I did anyway because I wanted to wear wings. Grandpa was still on the sofa and helped me put them on before I climbed up and sat with him again. This time I wanted to use my words. “Grandpa if there are vampires and werewolves, and shape-shifters, why can’t there be Faeries?” Sometimes instead of being a half human half vampire girl, I wanted to be a Faerie instead. He smiled at me. “I’m not sure why,” he answered. I sighed, resting my left cheek against his chest on the left side, as he put his arm around me. “Maybe no one knows about them. No one knew about Jacob until it happened, and no one knew about vampires until that happened too.” “That is a very good thought,” he agreed. My movie was still on and I decided to watch it, thinking about Jack. I wondered if he could think about me. The people in my movie were dancing again when the door opened, and only Alice Jasper and grandma came in. Grandma sat next to me and grandpa, and I hugged her but looked at my movie watching them dance. “Nessie, do you want to dance?” Aunt Alice asked. I shook my head, yawning as I leaned back into grandpa’s arms. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ It was obvious that my granddaughter still missed her parents, and I wanted to be able to help her feel better. I had attempted once to get her to go hunt with me, but she just shook her head as she watched South Pacific. I have been gravely concerned about splitting the family up, even if it is only for a couple of months. For Renesmee the move alone will be difficult enough, I can’t imagine how not having all of us under one roof will affect her. Her rapid growth has started to slow down and at this juncture she resembles a child of two and a half. I have calculated what I have seen so far with her growth, and estimate that every biological year she celebrates will be marked by three years physically. Nahuel was a great asset in helping us figure out some of Renesmee’s growth patterns, though he has noticed that it has differed with his sister’s and him. A small hand on my neck followed by the mental image of Nessie drinking from her purple cup returned my attention to her. As a rule, we try to have her hunt or even eat some regular food, but given the fact that it is raining quite hard I decide to give her what she wants. It didn’t take me long to prepare the blood and put it into her purple cup secure with a lid. Once she had that and I was sitting again, she resumed leaning against me. “Are you going to dance for us?” I asked her. She shook her head, still fixated on the TV. Just in the past week, she has begun to really enjoy watching musicals. I’m glad that we have a station that specializes in playing them. “Have you heard from Rose and Emmett,” asked my wife. “Not in the past hour. The flight should be due in, about now,” I told her, as she took the seat on my other side. “Perhaps we need to put off our trip to Denali,” she suggested, mirroring my own thoughts of just moments before. Renesmee’s head sagged against me, and I took her cup before it could drop from her hands, giving it to Esme. “I was thinking along the same lines,” I agreed. My love leaned against my other side and as she did, I kissed the top of her head. “I’m hoping once Edward and Bella return, she will perk up a bit.” “I know. I don’t like seeing Renesmee so sad.” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Chopsticks wasn’t so hard to play now that I had practiced lots of times. I played it two more times before I stopped, and giggled when Uncle Jazz clapped for me. “You are getting much better at that. What do you want to learn to play next?” He sat down next to me while I thought about it. I showed him a memory of daddy playing my lullaby. “That would take a lot of practice.” When I put my hand on his neck again, I showed him momma and daddy.” “Rose called and said that their plane is delayed, so they won’t be here for a while. Do you want to go outside? It’s not raining as much. I nodded, smiling when Aunt Alice came with my purple rain coat and my pink boots. She also had pants for me to put on. Sometimes I don’t like having to do things all by my self, so I didn’t mind when they both helped me get all ready. What I didn’t really like, was that I couldn’t wear my wings under my coat. It wasn’t raining outside, but it was really wet, and I jumped in the puddles like Claire had the last time she came with Jacob and Quil. When you splash, you get wet, but I think its fun, so I did it again laughing as Alice tried to get away. I got a piggy back ride across the river, and after Uncle Jazz put me down I held my head up and sniffed the air. When I smelled something good, I ran as fast as I could, only Uncle Jazz got ahead of me. He got the first Elk, and I got mad. “I wanted that one.” “Nessie there are many more this way,” Aunt Alice called out, but I stood where I was with my arms crossed over my chest, angry now. I smelled it first. When Uncle Jazz brought it to me, I turned around. “Ness, I didn’t know this was the one you wanted,” he told me. I didn’t want to talk to him, and it started to rain again which made me feel a lot madder. “I hate the rain,” I shrieked. “Then we should head back,” said my Aunt Alice. “No!” Even with my raincoat on I was getting all wet. Even my tights were getting wet, and I knew I needed to go inside, but I was mad and when I get like that, I don’t like anyone to talk to me or touch me. “Come on Ness,” Jazz said, as he tried to take my hand. “I want to stay here.” When Aunt Alice brought me an umbrella, I got away from her. “I want to go to the cabin.” “Renesmee, we need to go back to the big house so that we can get your things,” Alice reminded me. “But I want to go that way.” She put the umbrella over me. “I want to be wet.” Most of the time I’m nice, but some of the time I need to be grumpy. When Uncle Jazz grabbed me I screamed. “Let go, let go.” We were moving really fast. Once we were inside the big house he did let me go, and I almost got out the door before Grandpa got me. I didn’t want him either. “I want to get wet again.” For some reason I was crying now and that made me feel mad again. Grandma had a towel for me, and I stood still because I didn’t want them to get angry at me for being grumpy. “I don’t want to get in new clothes.” They didn’t say much, but they helped me get into clean pants and a long purple shirt. I like purple because it’s my favorite color, but it didn’t matter right now. “What will you do if I go outside?” I asked Grandma, bravely, as she rubbed my hair with a towel. “Bring you back inside,” she said, in a soft voice. “Would I have to stay in my room?” “Yes,” she told me. I waited until she was done before I went upstairs, finding Jack where I left him. “Uncle Jazz took my elk.” Jack didn’t say anything, and I was glad that he couldn’t talk. I hugged him for a second and put him with my pillows. My window was closed because it was raining and I leaned against it looking down at the ground. My room is high up, and everyone can jump out of my window, but I can’t because I would hurt myself if I tried too. Still I thought about it. “Nessie, do you want any new songs on your I-pod?” asked Aunt Alice. During the hunt she had been nice to me, but I didn’t want to talk, and shook my head. “Okay, but I don’t want you to try jumping from that window.” Aunt Alice can see the future, and I didn’t like that much either. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ We had intended to return to Hanover with our daughter today, but after all of the delays due to the weather, we decided to fly out in the morning. When Bella and I walked into the house, I expected to see my little girl straight away, but she wasn’t there to greet us. My mother hugged us both. “Where is Renesmee?” “In her room, having some alone time.” From the tone of her voice I could tell something wasn’t right. “How bad a day did she have?” “Pretty bad.” Alice already had her hands on Bella, wanting to show her some new designs at her computer, so I decided to head upstairs and see what was going on. When I arrived at my little girl’s room, the door was closed, but I didn’t need to see her to know that she was not happy. Most of the time I knock at her door, but now I simply entered. She was on her bed resting on her belly, talking to her stuffed wolf, Jack. As I sat down on her bed, she moved as far from me as she could get, still staying on her belly. “Grandma said you had a bad day,” I began, hoping I could get her to talk. When she didn’t answer me I tried her thoughts, but she was saying over and over that she didn’t want to talk. Since there was enough room for me, I leaned back resting my head on her pillow, hoping I could draw her out. I don’t think I have ever seen Renesmee this angry or upset about something, and that worried me. I thought about my mother’s expression when we walked into the house, and recalled clearly that she also seemed upset. “Renesmee, did something happen that we need to talk about?” I finally asked. I heard her sniff and glanced at her. She was still on her tummy, but facing away from me. Deciding that it would be better not to push her, I stood back up, leaning over her as I kissed the top of her head. “When you are ready, I’ll be downstairs.” I only took two steps away from her, when I heard a mental shout for me not to go. I turned a second before she leaped into my arms. She grasped around my neck as tight as she could manage, but still didn’t talk. I could have focused on her thoughts, but I wanted to her to tell me. “Was it something bad?” I asked, as I sat back on her bed. I felt her nod once. “Are you afraid I’ll be angry?” Again I felt her nod. The last thing I want is for my little girl to be afraid of me, and I wondered just what she could have done to make her worry. “Ness, listen to me. I love you, I always will love you. There isn’t anything you can tell me that would ever make me feel any different.” Her small body against my own started to relax at my words. I gently rock her for a moment. “Now, please tell me why you are so worried.” Her hand rested against my neck and I shut my eyes watching as her day unfolded in my mind. When she finished, she put her arms between her chest and my own still resting her head against my shoulder. The only thing she showed me that I didn’t like was when she broke Esme’s vase out of anger. “It isn’t bad to express your feelings, even when you are angry,” I said as I turned my head and kissed her again. “But you can’t break things, when you don’t get what you want.” “I was mad because I wanted to splash outside, but they all said I couldn’t do it again,” she whispered. “Do you think it was right to break Grandma’s vase?” “I was mad.” She started to sniff again, and I shut my eyes. I wasn’t expecting there to be struggles in her life so soon. We have hardly had to guide her, showing her right from wrong, but I realized that she is still a child, regardless of all the things she can do. She is obviously going to have moments like what she did today. “I’m sorry you were angry, but you are not to ever break anything again when you are!” I said sternly. Her body stiffened, and she began to cry. I leaned back again, resting on her bed while she settled against my chest. I let her cry herself out, waiting for a moment to talk to her. “Do you remember how sad you were when your figurine broke last week?” She nodded. “Grandma was very sad that you broke that vase. Do you believe it is right to make other people sad, just to show them that you are angry?” She didn’t answer, still sniffing. I looked at the door finding Bella there, a worried expression crossing her beautiful features. I knew she wanted to be with us, but I also knew that we might end up never getting through to our daughter if she got distracted again. I shook my head and Bella left. Finally I decided that it was time to take action and sat back up. “I’m going to let you stay here with Jack now. When you are ready to come and talk to us, you are welcome to do so. I also want you to be ready to apologize to your Grandma.” A fresh set of tears were moving down her face, as I laid her down in her bed. If I still had a beating heart, it would be aching for her. I kissed Renesmee’s tears away, and turned, leaving before I changed my mind. When I walked down the hall rounding the corner to go down stairs, Bella was waiting. “What did she do?” “She had a tantrum of sorts and broke one of Esme’s vases.” Bella looked as surprised as I must have when Renesmee revealed that part of her memories to me. “I told her she has to stay in her room until she is ready to come down and apologize.” “I can’t believe she would do that. She’s so smart, Edward.” “Yes, but she is still a little girl, and I think a lot of this acting out has to do with everything she has been through these past few days. We still need to teach her how to control her anger.” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ My daddy made me cry, and I didn’t want to be away from him, but I didn’t want to say sorry. I pulled Jack over my face and cried again. It wasn’t fair. We are leaving and I won’t know anyone at all. Crying wasn’t helping me feel better, so I made it stop, but still hugged Jack to my face. “We have to say sorry Jack, but I don’t want to do it.” “Why do you have to say sorry?” That was my Jacob, and I threw Jack away and was hugging Jake before I could think about anything else. I put my hand on his cheek and showed him what I did when I got mad about not getting to go outside. I showed him what daddy said too. After that I looked over his shoulder, and saw that my window was open. “Daddy won’t be happy if you are here.” “Don’t worry about that. Why don’t you want to tell your Grandma that you’re sorry, you usually don’t do stuff like that.” That wasn’t easy to figure out. I don’t like that she was sad, but I don’t know why. I rested my hand on his cheek, and let me see what happened with Uncle Jazz and Aunt Alice. “Sounds like you had a pretty bad day today.” I was glad he got it. “You know, it might make you feel better to talk to your Grandma about how you feel. It looks like you are pretty sad, and also mad. Maybe she can help you.” Grandma is fun to talk to, and she knows how it feels to be sad. “I have to go by myself. Stay here with Jack,” I said, softly as he put me down. When I went out of my room I went slowly, and it took me longer to get downstairs, but I wanted to go slow. Grandma was fixing flowers in some of the vases, and I watched her being very quiet. When she saw me, she put her flowers down and came to me, kneeling down beside me. “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings.” It felt good when she hugged me close. “Thank you for apologizing. I’m sorry you had such a bad day today.” “I don’t like feeling sad,” I told her. She picked me up and took me back upstairs to her room. We sat down on a sofa, but she held me and I wanted her too. “Do you know what the best part of moving is?” I shook my head. “The best part of moving is getting to see new things. I liked living in Denali, but I wasn’t prepared for how much I would love being here in Forks. I understand why you are so sad Renesmee, but we will come back someday.” I showed her a memory of Grandpa Charlie. I didn’t want to leave him and change so he wouldn’t know who I was when we came back. Grandma hugged me closer. “I’m not sure what to tell you. We have to keep him safe, just like keeping you safe. I do know that your Momma will continue to talk to him on the telephone.” “It isn’t the same as seeing him.” “I know it isn’t, and I’m sorry,” she said, as I hugged her. “Why don’t you and I get some of those pictures that were taken at his house during Christmas, and put them in a book for you to have when you miss him? How does that sound?” I nodded, and she picked me up, carrying me back downstairs. Momma and Daddy were talking, but they stopped to listen to her idea. “I have most of them at the cottage,” Momma said. I leaned out and she took me, hugging me close. “Can we go get them?” “Yes, we need to head that way anyway. Esme, do you mind if we bring them to you later?” “Not at all Bella.” ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ My bed at the cottage had all of the Christmas pictures on it, and Momma and I were laughing at the faces Grandpa Charlie had made. “I was smaller then,” I said picking up one of the pictures. It was me opening the puzzle that Sam and Emily had gotten for me. “Momma, can we have all the pictures in the book so that when I get sad I can see them?” “Yes, I think that is a great idea.” That made me feel lots better. It was late, and I was wearing my favorite nighty. It has a faery on it named Tinkerbelle. She is in a book I like called Peter Pan. Momma read that to me, and I read it sometimes too. There is a movie about Peter Pan, a cartoon with drawings and real people in them too. I don’t like them as much as my book. “Why doesn’t Grandpa Charlie like his picture taken?” “I think it makes him uncomfortable,” she said, as she started to gather them up. I didn’t want to have to go to bed. I got on my knees and put my hand on her cheek, to show us looking at the pictures. “After you go to bed, Grandma will put these in an album for you to have on the plane tomorrow. It’s time for you to get some rest.” That wasn’t any fun. “But I forgot Jack.” My daddy came into my room and gave me my friend. “I need to see Jake.” He came in with his head ducked down. He’s so very tall, that if he didn’t do that, he would whack it on the ceiling. “Why do I have to go to bed, I already had to stay in bed when I broke the vase.” When Jake tried to hug me I turned around. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~ It looked as though the grumpiness was not past us yet, and as Renesmee turned away from Jacob I went to his side. “Later,” I said, so only he and Bella could hear me. After the pictures were all gathered away, they left us alone. “We have to get up quite early to catch the plane, and you have had a long day,” I said as I stepped to the right and sat down. These emotional tiffs reminded me of Bella’s human days, more so when she was trying to figure things out between her and Jacob. Unlike earlier today at my parents’ house, Renesmee didn’t stay away from me for too long, and once she was willing, I cradled her in my arms. “Do you want me to put anything special on your MP3 player for the trip tomorrow?” She shook her head and yawned. “I didn’t want to be mad at Jacob.” “I know. That is why I think you need to try and get some sleep. I think if you do, you might find you feel better.” She furrowed her brows, as if deep in thought for a moment before she looked into my eyes with her chocolate brown ones. “Daddy I want you to stay here with me while I sleep.” I toed off my shoes and stood up, pulling the purple covers back before I put her down. She scooted almost against the wall, making room for me as I settled in beside her. At that instant she snuggled against my side, already closing her tired eyes. “Sing to me.” “What would you like to hear?” “Momma’s lullaby.” I didn’t have words to that, so I hummed the tune, gathering my arms around her as I did. My little girl wasn’t going to stay this small for long, and I knew I needed to treasure these moments with her. Even after she fell asleep I stayed with her; though I knew I needed to help Bella get Renesmee’s things in order for the trip tomorrow. At that exact moment, my wife entered the small room with a suitcase. I started to get up, but she just shook her head. “I’m as capable of doing this as you, and our daughter needs you more,” she whispered, as she quickly got Renesmee’s clothes selected for the trip. Once she finished, and came back, I was already standing with Renesmee cradled in my arms. I led Bella to our room, and we both snuggled on our bed with our sweet baby girl, listening and watching over her, as she slept. ~*~*~**~*~*~*~ Authors Notes: Thank you for taking the time to read this. I just wanted to clarify that when Renesmee talks she doesn't always say things in an adult maner. That might not be the right way to do things, but I like to think that she still has things she needs to learn before she grows up into a young lady. If you would be so kind, please please submit a review. I really do want to know how you guys feel about this. Thanks again for reading my story.
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