THE REST OF TOMORROW
Chapter 6: Un-Imprint Renesmee's POV Harvey and Gracie always know when I'm hurt. It isn't possible for me to get scraped knees if I fall, or sunburn if I stay out in the sun for too long when it's a nice day. The kind of hurt that was bothering me was inside, and I hated it because I was supposed to be happy. When I wanted to come here to my clearing, Mom was worried. It was Dad who told me I could come here alone, and it was hard to leave my house without worrying about them. Harvey pressing his nose to my back brought a smile to my face, but it only lasted a moment. "I'm sorry I'm being so gloomy," I whispered as he plopped down beside me rubbing his ear against my hand. Having his ear rubbed or even scratched is one of his favorite things, so I did that trying not to think about things. My mom had talked to Jacob, and my dad had too, but I didn't want to talk to him. I wasn't angry with him, just hurt because he got so mad so fast at something that wasn't Leah's fault. I'm not all that fond of her, but she's right. From the very first time my mind let me remember, I liked the sound of the other voice, the voice that wasn't like the rest of the people in my family. I knew Jacob didn't like me for a long time, but that's only because we couldn't understand one another. I hadn't meant to hurt Mom when I was inside of her, and stopped once my dad told me what I was doing. It all happened so fast. It got really uncomfortable inside, and it hurt. I was really scared because I couldn't breathe, but there wasn't any place to go. After my dad got me out and Aunt Rose took me away, it was okay again. But that voice that wasn't so happy with me went away too. I saw Jacob the first time when Aunt Rose was holding me rubbing my back, and his face looked tired and mad, but only for a second. After that he was always wanting to hold me and aggravating Aunt Rose, but I didn't mind because they loved me and still do. Maybe Leah is right because I always liked Jacobs's voice, and I have special abilities. Maybe mine was to make Jacob like me when he wasn't supposed to. The hardest part now is trying to figure out what to do. I know Jacob doesn't feel anger at me. He even said what Leah told him was a load of something I'm not allowed to say, but if I'm supposed to be strong and do the right things, then maybe the best thing to do is make him go away. Just as I thought that, I felt a tear running down my cheek and wiped it away. The other thing that was on my mind was the Werewolf. Caius thought Jacob and the pack were true children of the night, and I still didn't understand what all of that meant. What was hard to get, was why someone would want me if the Volturi didn't want me. Harvey lifting his big head from under my hand got my thoughts back to what was going on now. He sniffed and stood up about the same time Gracie did before he went over to her and followed her back into the woods. A moment later my Uncle Jasper came into my clearing, and without saying anything he walked over and sat down next to me. I didn't need to ask him if I could snuggle with him, and a second later he had his arm around me. The hurt was still there, but it wasn't as bad and I was glad he could make me feel just a little better. "Do you want to talk?" He meant well, but talking wasn't doing me any good. All it did was make my family worry about me. I shook my head, but continued to lean into his arms. ~*~*~*~*~ Jacob's POV If I didn't think Sam or the rest of the pack would have my head, I would happily break a few of Leah's bones. They of course were already aware of that fact, but let it go. She was already back in La Push and hadn't phased since returning. All of that had happened two days ago, and it had sent Nessie into another phase of not talking to us. Jasper was the only one who could tell us anything, and said the strongest emotion he felt from her was deep despair. The worst part was that Nessie wouldn't let me near her, and I can't say that I blamed her. Since that day, Bella and I had taken several long drives, and I was grateful on the one respect that things between us were starting to get a little better. This thing with Nessie had sort of forced us to talk about what had happened in the past, including my imprinting on Renesmee. "A penny for your thoughts," Bella said as she arrived by my side while I looked out over the lake. "You're going to need more than that." I moved over and made enough room for her to sit down on the log that I had been using for the past hour. "Did Nessie come back?" Bella sighed and nodded at the same time, "Jasper just came back with Renesmee asleep in his arms." I turned to face my best friend, hating the look of worry that was so prominent in her eyes, "What can I do? This isn't supposed to happen you know. Everyone else who has imprinted has been happy. I'm the only one who seems to be failing. I don't know," I said as I reached down picking up some pebbles, throwing them out over the water, "Maybe some of what Leah said is on the mark. I don't think Nessie had a thing to do with my imprinting on her, as far as making me, but maybe it's me." "What do you mean?" Bella asked as her brows furrowed. I shook my head, not sure if I could explain it, "I think I've been torn for too long. I've felt like I've been pulled into two places, here with Nessie, or there in La Push being the true Alpha, what ever that is. I think as hard as it's going to be, maybe I need to let Sam have it all. He does more than I ever have." "What about your pack, you can't just Alpha Command them to go back to Sam. They all broke away because they agreed that following you was the best. Jacob, the one thing I've managed to figure out through all of this is that you can't run when it all gets too hard to deal with." What Bella said was true, but it wasn't that easy, "That's easy for you to say, you have everyone you love with you…" Faster than I could blink Bella was on her feet, her arms crossed in front of her as she stared at me angrily. "What about Charlie and Renee? How can you even think this is easy for me? Yes I'm happy here with Edward and our little girl, but there isn't one day that goes by that I don't wish for my mom and dad to be here. I've had to cut myself off from Renee completely, did you know that?" She turned away from me and I quickly stood and put my hand on her shoulder. "Bella, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that." For a moment I wasn't sure she was going to stay, but she finally turned around and hugged me. "I shouldn't have exploded like that," she whispered. "Vampire temper," I teased, and we both managed to laugh a little. "So what do you and Edward want me to do? You guys are her parents, do you have any ideas?" As she talked Bella led the way back toward the house. "We have been discussing the idea of taking her to Esme's Island. My family is at a point now where we can't really continue going to school or get jobs because at least for the rest of them, they have been in the public eye for long enough." "What do you mean?" "Well, if someone got curious enough, they may start looking into why Carlisle Cullen has been a doctor in three different places and hasn't really changed all that much. There aren't any photos of him, he makes sure of that, but they have to be careful." "So they hide for a while?" She nodded and I sighed, not sure if I liked the idea of Nessie being someplace I couldn't just run too. At the same time they had to do what was best for her. ~*~*~*~ Renesmee's POV My dad's humming was the first thing I heard as I began to wake up. I was in my room and he was holding me in his arms as I opened my eyes. The second I did that, all the sadness wrapped around my heart, and I didn't move. "Do you want to go downstairs and get something to eat?" I shook my head trying very hard not to let my eyes get teary. "You need to try and eat something, even if it's just a few bites," he said as he rubbed my back. I shut my eyes not wanting to think about anything, but my mind wouldn't listen. While I sat with Jasper I made a decision, one that was going to be very hard to make happen. It meant I'd have to hurt someone else to do it, but maybe it was for the best. "Edward, she has to eat," I heard my mom say. They had to know I was still awake, and it hurt because they were worried about me. How hard was it just to pretend like I had after my camping trip and the bad dream? The only problem now was that there wasn't anything in me to try and do that. Just before my mom walked out the door, I opened my eyes. "Momma, I need to talk to Jacob." My voice sounded strange and my throat felt like it was closing up but I squeezed my eyes shut and made my mind stay strong for this. "I need to go alone with him to the lake, and I don't want anyone to hear me." She walked over to my bed and knelt down. "We can all go take a walk so you can talk to him here." That would be easy, and once I did the hard thing I wanted to come back here and be in a place that I hadn't hurt my Jacob. I just shook my head and she kissed my forehead before she turned around and left. After she was gone, I sat up and slid off my bed. At my dresser I got out a long sleeved pink shirt and laid it on top of the dresser before and turned around and found my dad holding my jeans. "Dad, if I do something mean, will you and mom still love me?" My Dad got down on his knees and I let him hug me close. "Renesmee, will you tell me what it is?" Even though I didn't want them too, my tears came anyway, and my throat closed tighter, but I wasn't going to let myself cry. He wiped my tears away as he always did and kissed both of my cheeks. "Jacob loves you," he said as I held up my arms, and let him take off my short sleeved shirt. "But I don't love him anymore," I said as my breath caught. I shut my eyes and made myself think it over and over as Dad pulled my shirt over my head. I got my jeans on by myself, and put on my Birkenstocks before Dad stood up and held me in his arms. He carried me downstairs and outside to our front porch, where Jake was waiting for me. Without saying anything I walked down the two stone steps and headed for the back of the house, where my path was for my clearing. I knew Jacob was following, and could hear him as he walked, but only a little. I don't love Jacob; I don't love Jacob I thought. Every time I thought that, it got harder to breathe. It was when I felt his hands on my shoulder, turning me around, that I realized my breath was not working right and my chest was hurting. "I want a un-imprint," I said, gasping because of how much that hurt me. When Jacob hugged me, on his knees like my dad had done in my room, I wanted to push him away but I couldn't. Having Jacob hold me made a little of the hurt go away. "You listen to me," Jacob whispered, his voice sounding like he was crying now. I heard him sniff, and hugged him as much as I could with such dinky little arms. "I'm not letting that happen. You being a part of my life is the best thing that happened to me. If it hadn't happened I would likely be just another wolf somewhere out in the wild." "But I made you do it," I hiccupped, as my tears continued falling, getting Jake's black shirt all wet. He sat down and kissed the top of my head. I wanted to look up at him but I couldn't just yet. "You had a part in my imprinting, but it's stronger than both of us put together." Now he had me and I wanted to see him. When I looked up at Jacob's face he had tears going down his cheeks. I reached up and wiped them away with my whole hand. "What do you mean bigger than us? Is it like what Grandpa Carlisle said about God? He says that God isn't any one thing, and you can't really compare anything to Him." "I guess it's a little like that. When we imprint, it's so strong that all we want is to make those that we love happy. When we do that we are also happy." It was still hard, but at least I could breathe again. "I don't want a un-imprint. I just thought that it was better because Leah was angry at you." Jake pursed his lips and I rested my head against his chest so I didn't have to see his mean look. "Jacob, would it be bad for me to want you to stay with me forever? When you go away it's hard because I have to do everything all on my own. No one can eat with me, and I like having you here because you're silly sometimes." "It wouldn't be bad, but maybe we should go back to the house. I have a feeling everyone is really anxious to see you, and you do need to eat." He was right, and my belly grumbled at us just to show him so. ~*~*~*~*~ Bella's POV One of the hardest things I had ever done was to stand at the bottom of the stairs while my daughter walked off into the darkening evening with Jacob behind her. The moment they were out of ear shot, I walked over to Edward as he shut the door, taking his hand, "How can we just let her do this?" The pained expression on his face told me enough. My husband was just as reluctant to let her go as I was, but both of us trusted Jacob to see through what Renesmee was about to tell him. All of this brought back some memories of my own. They were hazy, but the pain they had once caused still haunted me if I allowed the memories to linger. My daughter seemed to be just like Edward, wanting to do what was best for the other. Her actions were testament to the fact that Renesmee wasn't the little girl we sometimes saw her as. "I want to listen," I admitted as Edward drew his arms around me. It would be very easy to pick up what they were doing, but Renesmee had asked us not to do that, and Edward and I were strong enough to trust her and Jacob, but only just, at least for me. "Jacob was aware of what she was about to do, and he's not about to give in to her wishes." At least he was stronger than I was, though the circumstances back then were far different, and I hadn't been as confident in myself as I was now. Edward guided me down the hallway, through the kitchen and down into our family room. The guys had been there watching TV, but were outside. "Do they know what is going on?" That was a silly question, I'm sure they heard Renesmee talking to Edward just as I had. "They understand that we need some alone time," he told me as we sat down on the sofa to wait. Time seemed to move slowly by, and I had my eyes closed with my cheek pressed against Edward's chest when he hugged me gently, "They are on their way back." We both stood and I followed Edward to the kitchen getting out Renesmee's favorite plate and glass as he pulled some food out of our refrigerator. As I was setting her plate down on the counter, two arms wrapped around my middle and I felt Renesmee's cheek pressing against my back. I reached around and gently pulled her in front of me hugging her close as she held on to me. "Are you ready to eat?" She nodded and after leaving me to give Edward a hug, she went to the table and sat down with Jacob. "Do you two mind if I help her get to sleep tonight?" Jacob asked as Edward walked next to me and put his hand on my left shoulder. "That will be fine," Edward said. Renesmee was pushing her food around on her plate, and that concerned me. Before I could say anything, Edward was leading me to the front of the house, and outside. "What happened?" "She told him she wanted a un-imprint," Edward whispered, so softly that only I could hear him. We walked hand and hand down our driveway. It was already dark and very quiet as it had been since Jacob and his pack arrived. As it always was, no animals ever stayed close to our homes, except for the two bears, and even they didn't like being very close to us. My mind registered all of this and at the same time of what Edward had said. I threw my shield and let him read the concern in my thoughts. Edward squeezed my hand. "I warned him before he began to follow, but it wasn't easy for him to hear her, and Renesmee didn't mean what she requested." "Why?" "Most of it stemmed from what Leah said during their argument." That caused my anger to flare up and I didn't realize that I was squeezing Edward's hand too hard until he rubbed my arm, "Easy, I'm not as strong as you." Instantly I let go feeling horrible, "I'm sorry." "You don't have any reason to be," he answered, and I sighed. "We need to get her out of here." "I was thinking about what you said the other night, about taking a visit to Isle Esme." We stopped walking and I looked at my husband, "But how, she grows so fast." "Carlisle can arrange for a private flight for all of us. We can use two different companies for the trip down and back." Going to the Island sounded like heaven but we had to think of the move, as I was about to point that out, Edward smiled at me. "Everyone has agreed take care of packing us up while we go to the Island." "Where are they headed?" It was hard to think about everyone else getting our things together, but at the same time we needed to get our daughter away for a while. "Carlisle and Esme are going to Denali for an extended stay. Rosalie and Emmett are talking about going to South America to visit Zafrina, and I think Alice and Jasper will accompany them." "And after that?" We had turned around and were heading back toward the house. "We haven't really talked about that," Edward admitted. It sounded like they would get everything packed, but leave the houses as they were now until we all returned from our vacations. "What about Renesmee's birthday?" "I thought maybe just us with her this year, although I'm sure Rosalie and Emmett will make their way to the Island when that time draws closer." There were many things to work out and consider, but as we entered the house, thoughts of going to the Island and sharing our time with Renesmee, and possibly Jacob put my mind at ease. ~*~*~*~*~ AN:I don't mean to make her so sad all the time but I have a struggle finding happy moments. I promise the island will be good family time. I don't know if Jacob will go at this point or not. I tried to work on some Bella and Jacob time. I realized I hadn't given Bella much time in the lime light, but we had her POV through the books, and I love her, but needed to allow the others to have time too. Rynnajo, I'm glad you like my interpretation of Nessie. I'm always worried that I'm not doing her justice because she's so complex, but again having her struggle is still something that I feel compelled to right. Maddy, I'm working on Jacob and Bella, I hope this helped a little. Everyone still has a ways to go before its all said and done. Yes her Daddy is a very big push over when it comes to her, but Edward also will step in when he needs too. Thank you all for reading and big thanks for the reviews. Keep them coming.. ~Ella~
Back Home Twilight Main Page Next